## philosophy in film

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### Re: philosophy in film

They all say the same thing. If you want to excel as an actor, you must be able to draw on the sort of experiences that make it possible for art to imitate life.

Nothing is off the table here because you never really know what frame of mind or emotion or psychological state you might be called upon to recreate up on the stage.

And, this being the case, there will always be those directing actors who are ready, willing and able to take advantage of it. Thus, "...when the workshop's ambitious director pushes Madeline to weave her rich interior world and troubled history with her mother into their collective art the lines between performance and reality begin to blur."

And this impacts not only Madeline's performance up on the stage but her very "sense of identity" itself. "I" tugged and pulled...and then completely twisted out of shape. And what if, from the very start, the actor is already emotionally disturbed? What might be the end result of that? A sane actor can portray insanity up on the stage with more or less skill. But what are the [possible] consequences of an actor less than completely sane being pushed all the more to go over the edge?

And then the part about encompassing sanity itself. In today's world in particular. One way or another we are often putting on a mask and adopting one or another persona in one or another context. And here you are never really certain if what you are watching is in or out of Madeline's head.

trailer: https://youtu.be/S_ezPTjSSPw

Written in part and directed by Josephine Decker

Nurse [from Madeline's dreamscape]: There you go. What you are experiencing is just a metaphor. The emotions you are having are not your own. They are someone else's. You are not the cat. You are inside the cat. Now lie back...

...

Evangeline [workshop director]: Madeline, what are you doing?
Madeline: I was a sea turtle.
Evangeline: You were a sea turtle, and then you were a woman playing a sea turtle. Look at your hands. Hands. Whose hands are those? Are they yours, or are they the turtle's?

...

Madeline: Drive, drive! Duck! Duck! Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Go, Mom!
Regina [Mother]: I'm going, I'm going. I can't duck and drive.
Mother: I'm going! Are you okay?
Madeline: Yes! Oh, my God. We just mooned Evangeline.
Mother: You did?
Mother: I thought you...I thought something had really happened.

...

Son: Mom, what would you be if you were someone else?
Mother: Do you mean, like, a famous person?
Madeline: No, he means, um, if you could cut out someone's face and wear it as your own, who would it be?

...

Evangeline: I know. You know what they say about dreaming. You just have to trust yourself. Jung says that...in all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order, that the pendulum of the mind swings between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.
Madeline: Dreams are awesome. I dreamt I slammed my mother's hand with an iron. I couldn't breathe. It felt like I was underwater, watching her.
Evangeline: Anything like that, you can always share it with me. I dreamt you were my daughter.
[a pause]
Evangeline: Do you feel safe around your mom...?

...

Boy: Hey, Madeline. What's up? What's in your basement? Yo, me and the guys over there, we took bets, and we think there's five dead bodies in there. Five, for every finger on your hand.
Madeline [bursting into a character]: I killed 'em with my fingernails!
Boy: You're weird.

...

Madeline: I was just showing them the basement.
Mother: Mm-hmm. Why don't you sit down. Let's watch this! Okay. Right? Sit down, Madeline. This what you were doing? This what I interrupted?
Boy: We were just...
Mother: Yeah? Well, just do it. Go ahead. Do it. Whip it out.
Woman from porn video: You're putting it in her asshole!
Mother [to the boys]: This is a good idea? You want her in a psych ward for another six weeks? With her condition?

...

Evangeline: I want to deepen the work that we're doing with the character that you're gonna play. Do you want to name her?
Madeline: Oh, I... I thought of a name. Zia.
Evangeline: Zia? -Yeah. That is... It's really powerful. You know, one of the ways that we could maybe...sort of make Zia more concrete would be...I was thinking we could explore the dream that you were telling me about and maybe act it out. The one that you... With the iron, and you slam your mom's hand. It's so just potent. And I-I can't stop thinking about those images. You know, dream work can be this really... Uh, anyway... we should... try acting it out. How do you feel about that?
Madeline [clearly uneasy]: I, uh...I guess, yeah.

...

Evangeline [disjointedly]: Madeline, was that...Is that about how it felt? What? I think we need to, um, emphasize the fractured, um, disjointed relationship with the mother at the beginning.

...

Mother [on phone?]: Yes, it's an emergency. Her prescription ran out a week ago. Mm-hmm. Why? Because she didn't tell me. I'm sorry. She's a teenager, so...She just doesn't tell me everything in her life.

...

Mother: You know, I just... I want... I want you to be careful. You know? Because... you're not...
Mother: Um... You know. You're not like the other people.
Mother: No, Madeline. I just feel like you're maybe not ready, you know. Your situation, which is different...
Mother: It's different from the other people in the...Everyone else is...is stable, and, um... You know, if you had an episode, which you probably will, what would happen?
[Madeline throws a cup of soda at her]

...

Evangeline: Are you okay?
Evangeline: Yeah? How's things with your mom?
Madeline: On the way here, she tried to give me the sex talk. I'm 16. I know everything.

...

Nurse [actor in a skit]: What seems to be the problem?
Madeline [acting as the patient]: I'm sick.
Nurse: Yeah? What do you have?
Evangeline: Hey, Madeline. It's a psychiatric ward, not a pregnancy ward.
Madeline: My mom wants me to have an abortion, but, um, I'm gonna keep the baby.
Nurse: Wh... I mean, do you...Do you think you're... you're ready?
Madeline: I think I'm ready. I... I want to take care of someone. Like she will. But I'm afraid that the birth will be horrible.
Nurse: How will it be horrible?
Madeline: Bloody and hard. What if the baby doesn't wanna come out? What if it's, like... And it dies inside of me.
Evangeline [not sure how to react]: Let's take five minutes, and then we'll, uh, regroup and try some more.

...

Evangeline: Uh, no. No, it's not.
Woman: Metaphor?
Evangeline: No, it's not a metaphor. It's-It's, um... It's about mental illness. And-And...Wow. Madeline is the lead.

The look on Madeline's face says it all...

Madeline: So, um, how long have you and Evangeline been together?
George: Oh. We've been together five years. Five beautiful years.
George: Mm-mmm.
Madeline: That's funny, because she has never mentioned you.
George: She hasn't?

...

Madeline: So, um, it's my birthday this weekend.
George: Are you serious? Well, happy birthday. You're turning...
George: Seventeen.
Madeline: And do you know what I am doing for my birthday? I'm going to lose my virginity. George [taken aback]: That's... That's great. That's great. Who's...Who's the...Um, who's the lucky guy?
George: Okay.
Madeline: You know, if you have any recommendations for, like, a position or anything, for... 'Cause I'm a beginner, you know. I was thinking that I could bend over, and he could squeeze my ass cheeks.

...

Evangeline: Were you drinking at my house, Madeline? Because you're not acting like yourself.
Madeline: You don't know myself. I am being myself.
Evangeline: I do know you. I know you!
Evangeline: What?
Evangeline: I don't know! No. I mean no. I'm so... I'm not insecure. I'm trying to do something that's really hard. And I am, you know, holding down the fort on the whole project, and I'm spearheading this very collaborative vision that is fucking just... kind of fucked. So, yes. I mean yes, I'm insecure, because I don't know if the project's gonna work. I don't even know if my fucking marriage is gonna work. And I don't...
Evangeline: What? What's good?
Madeline: That you admitted it. I'm insecure too. It's why I want you to like me so much.

...

Madeline: I don't think...I don't think I should be in your project anymore.
Evangeline: What?
Madeline: Okay. I feel like, you know, we're...
Evangeline: I think you might be right, Madeline. I think maybe you shouldn't be in the project. And actually, it feels like a huge relief. I mean, I...Of course, I want you to be in it, but...this doesn't feel like it's good for either of us.

...

Madeline [after Evangeline slams on the brakes and stops the car]: What was that? What... Was it a cat?
Evangeline: I don't know. Maybe it was nothing.
Madeline: Should... Should we check on it?

...

Madeline [acting out her mother in a skit at the workshop..with her mother in the room]: You really shouldn't use hand sanitizer like that. It dries out your skin. Oh, what sweater should I wear? The one with floral or the one with floral? The mood swings. They can be so bad sometimes. High, low. You never know where you're gonna go. Throwing things, hitting me. But I love you no matter what because you're my daughter. Were you smoking? I can smell it on you! Go take a shower, for Christ's sakes. Do you want some pancakes? Pancakes! I know you hate butter. Yes. Will you eat anything? Anything? See, Damon eats. Damon fucking eats. And he keeps it in. You're not going to rehearsal on Friday if you don't eat these pancakes. When you were a...just a little baby, I stroked your head so soft. I-I...I said to myself... I said, "This baby, she's so perfect. She's gonna be so strong." And look at you now. You are sick! You are so sick that you... No, Madeline. Madeline, no. Madeline, you're scaring me. Damon, tell her to...Put it down! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! My hand! My hand! Wow. Wow. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!!!

Her mother leaves the room.

Evangeline: That was so great. That was so amazing. Wow! Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Evangeline: You're so good. That was amazing. Did you guys see that? Oh, my God. That was amazing. Wow. Oh! Wow. I, uh... This... This is the play. This is immersive theater. Wow. Okay. Okay. I was thinking we were gonna do something else, but I think that, in light of this powerful new work, we should, uh... Let's everybody pick a piece, just a section of the improv that Madeline just did, and then we will make a dance. Make a dance of it and, um...
Evangeline: Well, no, no. I mean, it's about a character that we've been work... you know, creating together called Zia. It's about a character.
Evangeline: No, Zia. Her name is Zia.
Actor: Yeah, Zia. And she's comfortable with that.
Actor: You're comfortable with that? With us telling your story?
Actor [to Evangeline]: I mean...So you're going to tell the story of the inside of her brain.
Evangeline: Yes.

Evangeline completely misses the point that her students clearly get: that she is using and exploiting Madeline's very real emotional turmoil. Unless I'm completely missing the point.

Evangeline: Get off me! Madeline? Madeline. Madeline. Great job. You know, you're obviously taking a lot of risks, and I think you're so talented, you know? But if we're gonna collaborate, I think we should talk about a process that's a little more...Listen. This is done. I think this is done now. Okay. Everybody? Everybody, I think this is done now! So thank you very much, everybody! Great job. Hey! Just stop! Stop!
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=176529
Then here: viewtopic.php?f=15&t=185296
And here: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=194382

iambiguous
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Posts: 29652
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
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### Re: philosophy in film

The year is 1993. Your neice is "caught with another girl". So, out of love, out of faith in God, you send her to "gay conversion therapy". A group that promises to "cure" her. After all, the Reverend Rick who helps to run the operation was once cured himself.

The bottom line of course is that being gay is okay. The problem resides entirely with the reactionary religious folks who have yet to grasp that.

And that is certainly one way to look at it. But that's not how everyone does look at it. So, from their perspective, this is a "liberal" propaganda flick that besmirches all that they hold near and dear.

And that is basically how most of us view the world. With or without God there are good behaviors and bad behaviors. And it's up to us to pick sides.

It really comes down then to how ridiculous the reactionaries are scripted to be. In other words, does it really matter how honest and sincere they are about their own beliefs? And many of them really do believe that being gay is a ticket to Hell. So, I'm looking for this in the film. And I think they did a pretty good job in that respect. I take my own political leap to the left on this issue. But I'm not able to embrace it as the objectivists [left or right] are.

And that's the point. It's not as though the religious folks portrayed here are mindless morons. They're not ignorant clodhoppers or monsters. They have simply found an anchor for "I" in the Lord. And then the whole world becomes "do this" and "don't do that".

Inevitably, there are characters here who are considerably more sophisticated about their "treatment" at God's Promise than others. What makes Cameron particularly vulnerable [and believable] is that she is not nearly as cynical as "sinners" like Jane and Adam. At least not at first.

Look for the American Honey.

IMDb

The clips from the Christian exercise video "Blessercize" are real footage of an actual 90's video.

Due to its limited theatrical release and marketing, the film failed to recoup its paltry $900,000 budget. It grossed just$904,703 in 85 theaters in North America.

Won the Grand Jury Prize (Dramatic) at the Sundance Film Festival.

at wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mised ... Post_(film)
trailer: https://youtu.be/VEdngvMGjg0

The Miseducation of Cameron Post [2018]
Written in part and directed by Desiree Akhavan

Pastor Crawford: Okay. Everybody, eyes up here. It's time to get started. So, I was thinking this morning. I was thinking about what it was like being your age, how I'd come to worship like I was ticking off a to-do list. I didn't get it like I do now, and I thought, "Well, maybe I should tell you guys a secret." Do you know what we're trying to do every Sunday in church as adults? We're trying to undo the things we did when we were your age. Think about it. You're our future, and you are at an age where you are especially vulnerable to evil. Now when I say, "Evil," I mean evil. And you won't see it now. You won't see it tomorrow. But what feels like fun is actually the enemy, and that enemy is closing the noose around your neck. While you experiment and play with that yoke like it's a toy and you think, "Oh, just this once, just... just a little longer," click. It's got you.

...

Reverend Rick [to Cameron]: Don't worry. You'll get decorating privileges soon. You have to earn certain rights at God's Promise. I swear it's not that bad... just decorating and mail. Most disciples get there in a few weeks. It's all spelled out in the contract.

...

Erin: I think if your top priority is to get better, that should also be true of the people you surround yourself with, you know?
Cameron: And you think you're getting...better?
Erin: Of course. I've been brought closer to God, and I can feel Him guiding me.

...

Lydia: I've come to meet our new disciple. Welcome, Cameron. I'm Dr. Lydia Marsh. I'm the director of God's Promise....I know the adjustment can be difficult at first, but I have every faith you'll find yourself at home here soon. In the meantime, please don't hesitate to ask if you need anything.
Cameron: Thank you.
Lydia: You should consider yourself amongst family, Cameron.
Cameron: You can call me "Cam."
Lydia: "Cameron" is already a masculine name. To abbreviate as something even less feminine only exacerbates your gender confusion.
Cameron: Right.

...

Cameron: I've just never thought of homosexuality like this.
Lydia: There's no such thing as homosexuality. There's only the same struggle with sin we all face. Would you let drug addicts throw parades for themselves?
Cameron: No.
Lydia: No, you wouldn't. Sin is sin. Your struggle is with the sin of same-sex attraction. The first step is for you to stop thinking of yourself as a homosexual.
Cameron: But I don't think of myself as a homosexual. I mean, I don't really think of myself as anything.

...

Jane: Just talk about how positive reinforcements for sports messed with your gender identity. They love that shit. And how your parents gave you too much physical affection or not enough physical affection. Either way, that's why you're gay.
Jane: That should probably go in your iceberg.

...

Cameron: You grew up in a commune?
Jane: Yeah.
Cameron: I didn't know hippies were evangelical.
Jane: They're not. My mom's new husband is.

...

Helen: I will not pray for God to change me because God does not make mistakes, and I am the one who is tempted by sin. Change will come through God...but within me. Me. I must be the change.
Steve: I've always known I didn't want to act on my same-sex attractions, so, in the past, I would resort to...self-pleasure. Then when I learned that that was a sin, also, I stopped, but it's like...shouldn't it be okay if it's instead of acting out?
Dane: What? You can't get a pass from God to jerk off.

...

Cameron: So, this worked for you, then? Like, you changed?
Rick: Yes. I changed.
Cameron: How?
Rick: It was a process. It's funny, actually. The moment things began to turn around was in a bar.
Cameron: Bar?
Rick: Yeah. A gay bar, of all places. Two men from my church came in. They saw my car parked outside, and they knew I'd been struggling, so they came in looking for me. Wow. It was God, Cameron. I asked for His help, and He gave it to me in the form of those allies. I was so deeply unhappy, but I didn't think I was worth saving, and I wonder if you've asked that of yourself. Are you worth saving?

...

Cameron: What's her deal anyway? Like, I know why Rick is here, but why does she give such a shit? She's not, like, ex-gay, is she?
Jane: She's Rick's sister.
Cameron: Seriously?
Jane: Yeah. She degayed him.

...

Lydia: Tell us about that girl you knew from home.
Cameron: Okay. Um...her name was Coley. We were in the same Bible study.
Lydia: What was she like?
Cameron: She was perfect. But she wasn't full of herself. You know, she was the type of person that, no matter who you were, you'd meet her, and you'd... you'd want to be her friend.
Lydia: It's said that cannibals only eat the enemies they admire as a way to take inside their best qualities. When you speak, you reveal a compulsion to take into yourself the qualities you admired in this girl.
Cameron [hesitantly]: I wanted to be like her, and I confused that with being with her? Lydia: Correct.

Slowly she is learning to tell them what they want to hear.

Mark: Can I ask you a personal question?
Cameron: Sure.
Mark: Do you believe in God?
Cameron: Um...I-I guess I don't...I don't really know.
Mark: Yeah. That's okay.
Cameron: I guess every time I pray...I kind of feel like I'm being phony.
Mark: Yeah. I-I think everybody can feel like that sometimes, but I also think that those are moments where it's really important to lean back on your faith and trust that that will take you forward.
Cameron: I don't think I really have any faith. Or at least I don't... really know how to go about getting it. Or if I really want it.

...

Cameron: What's winkte mean?
Adam: Yeah. It's a... It's a Lakotan word for two-spirit. It's like a... It's like a third gender. Okay, so, I am two-spirit, which, uh, means I was born with a man's soul and a woman's soul, and, uh, literally, "winkte" means "killed by woman," so it's as if the male part of me is being killed by the female part. That make sense?
Jane: He's basically like the Native American David Bowie.

...

Cameron: So, why'd your parents send you here?
Jane: His dad got into politics, and then he converted to Christianity.
Adam: Me being like this... fucks his image.

...

Cameron [on phone]: If I told you I was unhappy... and that I wanted to come home... would you let me?
Ruth [her aunt]: Cam, come on. You have to give it a chance. You know I'm doing this because I love you. Don't you want to have a family someday?

...

Erin [after sort of having sex with Cameron]: You can't tell anyone, Cam.
Cameron: I won't.
Erin: I really do want to get past this.

...

Lydia: Mark, why don't you start us off? I know you've had an especially hard week.
Mark: No. I...Every week is especially hard.
Lydia: Is there something...
Mark: Look, if you want me to talk about my father, then I'd prefer if you just ask.
Mark: I don't see what there is to talk about. I mean, you've read his letter. "I am denying your request to return home at the end of the semester. You are still very effeminate... and this is a weakness I cannot have in my home."
Lydia: How did that make you feel?
Mark: I'd like to read a passage. It's one of my father's favorites.
Mark [in an increasingly mocking voice]: "There was given to me a thorn in the flesh...the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. And for this thing, I besought the Lord thrice....that it might depart from me. And unto me he said...My grace is sufficient for thee...for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, will I rather...will I rather glory in infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I-I take...I take pleasure in...in...in infirmities, in...in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake, for when I am weak, then am I strong! For when I am weak...then am I strong. When I am weak...then am I strong."

...

Mark [to the group]: I know that some of you are aware that Mark had a little bit of an accident last night. Adam found him in the bathroom, and we rushed him to the hospital. His dad's already flown out. He is stable, and he's going to be okay.
Dane: Fuck this. You guys are talking in circles. If he didn't kill himself, then what did he do?
Dane: See, that's where you're wrong, 'cause it does, actually. It makes me feel a fuck of a lot better.

...

Rick: Last night, Mark used a razor to cut his genitals several times. Then he poured bleach over the wounds. Adam found him.
Cameron: If you were worried about him, why did you leave him alone?
Rick: I don't have a very good answer for you.
Rick: I think so, all things considered. It is going to take him some time to process.
Cameron: How the fuck do you process watching your roommate try and cut his dick off? What's he going to do, put it on his iceberg? You people have no idea what you're doing, do you? You're just making it up as you go along.
Rick [weeping]: I don't know how to answer you right now. I...I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

...

Cameron: Look, I know you're here because of what happened to Mark.
Government official [sent to investigate Mark's self-mutilation]: Something didn't just happen to him. He injured himself.
Cameron: While under the care of this facility.
Government official: Correct, and that's why I'm here, to investigate the care that is given by those who run this facility, not to investigate the mission of this facility, unless that includes abuse or neglect.
Cameron: Yeah, but what about emotional abuse?
Government official: Are you saying you're being emotionally abused by the staff here?
Cameron: How is programming people to hate themselves not emotional abuse.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=176529
Then here: viewtopic.php?f=15&t=185296
And here: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=194382

iambiguous
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Posts: 29652
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
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### Re: philosophy in film

A theme common to many true-crime docs is the astonishment exhibited by folks who never in a million years could have imagined that their beloved husband or wife or son or daughter or best friend "could do such a horrible thing".

In fact, at the beginning of the program, they will insist they just know that he or she is innocent. Why? Because no one knows them better than they do. It's just not "in them".

But what do we really know about anyone anymore? And what do they really know about us? Most of us don't live in small villages anymore. In the sprawling metropolis that is our postmodern world, you can bet that everyone pretty much does not know the business of everyone else. Even of those closest to them at times.

On the other hand, there is still the myth of the "small town". And, in this particular small town, a "picture perfect" family and the crimes of a decade old serial killer begin to merge. Here, "Tyler Burnside is a Boy Scout, a volunteer at his local church, and the dutiful son of an upstanding, community leader dad."

Then out of the blue one day, Tyler stumbles onto something -- pornographic images -- belonging to his dad. And this sets his whole world to crumbling. His all-American family is about to be ripped to shreds.

So, are there things he doesn't know about his own beloved father?

What is always particularly frightening about films like this is that the monsters seem to be such "ordinary people". The next door neighbor you've been hanging around with for years. Your best buddy. Or think of the character in The Stepfather. He couldn't possibly be more personable. More normal.

Look for the BTK killer.

at wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Clovehitch_Killer
trailer: https://youtu.be/aJO3G17JqZ8

The Clovehitch Killer [2018]
Directed by Duncan Skiles

Tyler [voiceover]: The first murder happened before I was born. The killer called himself Clovehitch after his favorite type of knot. Our town lived in fear. And then, ten years ago, he stopped. Every year, our community had a memorial for friends and family of the victims. At the time, I didn't think about it much.

...

Billy [noting a strange girl across the street]: She's here again.
Tyler: Who cares?
Billy: Just what is she doing? Planning a church shooting or something?
Tyler: She's not planning a church shooting.
Billy: She's not Christian. She's sick. I know her from school. She always does the same report about the killings every year.

...

Amy [showing Tyler a pornographic photograph she found under the seat of his truck]: Whoa, what is this?
Tyler: Um, where'd you get that?
Amy: Right there....Oh, my God. Is that what you're into?
Tyler: No! No, I.. I don't even know where this came from.
Amy: Okay, well, it's your truck.
Tyler: Yeah, but that isn't mine.

...

Tyler: Is this about the photo?
Amy: No, I texted like one person who I thought would never tell.
Tyler: I don't even know what that was. It wasn't mine, okay? It was in my dad's truck.

And then, just like that, it all begins.

Don [Tyler's father]: Okay. Sex. There, I said it. You know we're made in God's image. That means your body is a holy thing not to be desecrated. You know what that means?
[Tyler nods]
Don: But, men like you and me we got thoughts. We got thoughts that start to. Start to pop into our heads. You ever get those thoughts, bud? Thoughts about girls? I get it. I mean, believe it or not, I was 16 once. We're in a bit of a pickle, aren't we? We got God over here on this side and we got a sex-crazed monkey over here on this side. You with me so far, bud?
Tyler: Not really.
Don: Here's the thing. It's okay to have thoughts. That's just a fantasy. God will look the other way. He's a busy man. But no pictures. Got it? A fantasy's okay, it's not real. It's just.. It's just monkey stuff.
Tyler: Yeah. Monkey stuff.

...

Kassi: The fuck you following me for?
Tyler: You remember me, right?
Kassi: Tyler the perv. How's the perving?
Tyler: Why are you always reading the newspaper outside of our church?
Kassi: I like bad news. And I can sit wherever I want. I thought you people were supposed to be all friendly and giving and shit?
Tyler: No, yeah, no. It's totally fine.
Kassi: Great.
Tyler: Hey, um, you know about that Clovehitch stuff, right? 'Cause I was thinking maybe I could ask you a few questions 'cause I was on some bad website and...
Kassi: Oh, I get it. You heard that rumor about me and the five guys on the football team. And you thought that if you...
Tyler: No. No, no, no.
Kassi: It's okay. I'm a slut, you're a perv. We were made for each other.

...

Tyler: So you were staking out our church to, what, narrow it down? Whoever was going back there?
Kassi: No. Cops already did that. I'm using the FBI playbook. I'm gonna catch him using his weakness.
Tyler: And what's that?
Kassi: He's insane. Every killer has an MO tied to his psychology. It's like a fingerprint. Look. Same entry points, same elaborate ropes on the bodies the clove hitch tied to every victim's house, his signature. He's taunting the cops, using the victims as trophies. It's meticulous and planned. I'm gonna use that fingerprint to connect him to new cases. I don't think he's stopped killing. I think there's more than ten victims.
Tyler: But he has stopped.
Kassi: Serial killers can't stop.

...

Don [to Tyler]: You can pull the wool over your mother's eyes, but not mine. Who was it you were visiting when you're supposed to be tutoring?

It's a cat and mouse game between them now. Father and son. Neither of whom quite know what to believe about the other.

Cindy [Tyler's mom]: So, Kassi, where do you go to church?
Kassi: Oh, I don't go to church. Um, my dad's usually hungover on Sundays and my mom left when I was little. So, um, I'm basically an atheist but I'm considering getting into Wicca.
Cindy: Wicca? Wha..No, I've heard of that. It...it's not black magic, it's um...a nature-based spiritual...
Tyler: Oh, Mom. She's...she's just joking.

...

Kassi: So, Mr. Burnside, um...you teach Tyler and everybody about camping and whittling. And tying knots? So, how many knots do you know...?

...

Tyler: He has pictures. Like bondage porno stuff. That's why everyone thinks I'm a perv. I went in his shed where no one is allowed, and there was more. There was even one that said Nora on it, and. I think that was for Nora Devlin. Right next to it, it says, "Lucky's favorite" on it.
Kassi: There's no way in hell your dad is Clovehitch just because he likes weird porn. He's just kinky.

...

Don: Thought we'd get an early start. You know what we haven't done in a while? Camping. Just you and me.
Tyler: Yeah, today?
Don: Yeah. Thought we'd go have some fun. Father-son bonding. Lock up that rifle badge.

...

Tyler [out in the woods with his father]: Where are we going?
Don: We're almost there, bud.

...

Don [cleaning his rifle]: Did you tell anyone?
[Tyler says nothing]
Don: Did you tell anyone?
Tyler: What are you talking about?
Don: Tyler, I know you've been in the shed and in the crawlspace. You had no business invading my privacy. The lack of respect is really disturbing, Tyler. You know better than that. A lock on that door for a reason. What you found in that box wasn't mine.
Tyler: Whose is it?
Don: Rudy's.
Tyler: Uncle Rudy?
Don: The truth is, I'm ashamed to say. I had an interest in those kinds of photos that you found in the truck a long time ago, years ago. Rudy was the same way, only much, much worse.

Who to believe? What to believe?

Tyler: But it looks like it's you.
Don: Bud. Bud, I don't know, I don't know what else to tell you. Other than I know that you know. It isn't me. It's not me. I'm just so..I'm just so damned sorry to to put you through all that. I messed up. I was trying to protect my brother.
Tyler: We have to take it to the police. Or destroy it. But you have to decide.

...

Kassi: He came in through the basement. And then tied her up. And tortured her here. Then he killed her. This is where they found the body.
Tyler: Why are you doing this?
Tyler: It was Uncle Rudy.
Kassi: In the wheelchair? How long has he been like that?
Tyler: Ten years. That's why he stopped. He told me it was a car accident but...it was suicide. Attempted suicide.
Kassi: I found something in the pit under your house.
Tyler: Y...you said there was nothing under there.
Kassi: There were rope fibers.
Tyler: Rope fibers? Look, this isn't CSI. I know that you love being obsessed with Clovehitch because it makes you all dark and interesting but, but really, this is my family.
Kassi: He killed my mom.

...

Tyler: What was her name?
Kassi: Crystal.
Tyler: Crystal Harper?
Kassi [surprised]: How do you know that?
Tyler: Under the house. There was a box, and it had photos, and jewelry. And driver's licenses. There were 13 of them.
Kassi: Thirteen? Where are they?
Tyler: It wasn't gonna bring 'em back. And he's gone. We had to protect our family.
Kassi: So where are they?
Tyler: So we burned them. I'm sorry.
Kassi: Do you believe him? Is there any doubt in your mind? Please.

...

Tyler [watching Kassi spy on his father]: What are you expecting to see?
Kassi: Anything. There's no way he could be that sick and not give any hint.
Tyler: I've lived with him my whole life. There's no hint.

...

Kassi [to Tyler]: He tied this here. I saw him.

...

Don [startled]: What are you doin' here?
Tyler: Is she okay?
Don: You should be gone. Oh, Tyler. You shouldn't see this.
Don: What did I teach you? You don't aim a weapon unless you intend to use it. Are you gonna shoot me, bud? Are you gonna shoot me, bud?
Tyler: You have to turn yourself in.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

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iambiguous
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### Re: philosophy in film

Ordinarily when I'm tuning into something called "a star is born" it's on the Science Channel. And not something out of Hollywood. But this one keeps popping up over and over and over and over again.

And being a "star" in the entertainment business is a hell of a lot more relevant to most folks than the stuff that came out of the Big Bang. And the more the world today makes each of us feel smaller and smaller and smaller, the more some will give almost everything they've got to becoming "famous".

And while there is nothing either inherently good or bad about these treks to the top of the charts, each of us will react to it in our own way. After all, just because you are worshipped and adored in our pop culture doesn't mean you can't have the sort of depth that makes you worth being interested in.

And it is always intriguing to imagine a "seasoned" artist on the way down coming into contact with a "struggling" artist on the way up. The personal and the political intertwined in a rampaging spiral that might go in any direction.

And then of course the Lady Gaga stuff. Yeah, we know that she can sing...but can she act? Remember, for example, Madonna?

Then the part that always fascinates me the most. Jackson needs a drink. He picks out a bar. He meets Ally. Her life is forever changed. And all seemingly out of the blue. A fluke, chance encounter.

IMDb

Like his character Jack, Bradley Cooper dealt with both alcohol and drug addiction. He has spoken publicly about how sobriety saved both his life and career.

For his role as Jackson Maine, Bradley Cooper was taught to play guitar by Lukas Nelson, son of Willie Nelson. The pair hung out in Cooper's basement almost every night for a year so that Cooper could learn how to perform and present himself like a musician.

Majority of the drag queens' scenes were unscripted and improvised. They originally had little dialogue but seeing that their candid jokes added so much entertainment value, Bradley Cooper decided to extend them and let them play around on their own. Willam Beli, the drag queen that played Crystal, even claimed that none of her original lines made it to the final cut and that all her scenes in the movie were out of improvisation.

Lady Gaga has said that she'd become so attached to her character during the shoot, she had to dye her hair blonde as soon as the film wrapped in order to 'release' Ally. She also said that in real life, she is nothing like her character Ally, the biggest difference being that she was extremely ambitious about her career from a young age and was classically trained in music, while Ally is starting off a late bloomer with no self-confidence in her talent.

trivia at IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1517451/tr ... tt_trv_trv
at wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Star_Is_Born_(2018_film)
trailer: https://youtu.be/nSbzyEJ8X9E

A Star Is Born [2018]
Written in part and directed by Bradley Cooper

Ally: Fuck! God! Fucking men!

...

Ramon: My man, my man, I...Aren't you like...
Jack: This is a bar, right?
Ramon: Yeah, but not your kind of place.
Jack: They got alcohol?
Ramon: Well, yeah, but...
Jack: It's my kind of place.

...

Jack: Do you do that often?
Ally: Do what?
Jack: The show.
Ally: Yeah, yeah. The girls are so nice to me here. I mean, they would never normally let a girl sing at one of these shows but they've always loved my voice. They used to beg me to sing. It's an honour, really. I get to be one of the gay girls.

...

Jack: Do you write songs or anything?
Ally: I don't sing my own songs.
Jack: Why?
Ally: I just...I just don't feel comfortable.
Jack: Why wouldn't you feel comfortable?
Ally: Um... Well, cos, like, almost every single person that I've come in contact with in the music industry has told me that my nose is too big and that I won't make it.
Jack: Your nose is too big?
Ally: Yeah.

...

Jack: You're lucky.
Ally: My nose has not made me lucky. I could've had maybe a hit song if it wasn't for my nose.
Jack: That's fucking bullshit.
Ally: No, it's not bullshit because you go into these rooms and there's all these fucking men in there and they're just staring at you, listening to your record, going, "Oh, you sound great, but you don't look so great."

...

Jack [to Ally]: Look, talent comes everywhere. Everybody's talented. Bet you fucking everybody in this bar is talented in one thing or another, but having something to say... and the way to say it so people listen to it, that's a whole other bag. And unless you get out there and you try to do it, you'll never know. That's just the truth. If there's one reason we're here, it's to say something so people wanna hear it.

...

Jack: It's a good thing we met. For both of us. Trust me.
Ally: I don't know what is going on. Honestly, what...
Jack: Who does?

...

Jack [whispering to Ally]: Can I tell you a secret? I think you might be a songwriter.

...

Jack: Hey.
Ally: What?
Jack: I just wanted to take another look at you.

...

Lorenzo [Ally's father]: I want my friends to look at you. Take a good look. With a voice like from heaven, but you know what? It's not always the best singers that make it. You know? I knew a couple of guys could sing Sinatra under the table. But Frank, he'd come on stage with the blue eyes, the sharkskin suit, the patent leather shoes...he becomes Frank Sinatra. And everybody else, all these other guys...that really got it, that really have it inside... just a bunch of nobodies.

...

Bobby: You gotta put 'em in your ears, man.
Jack: I told you, I can't wear those. When I wear 'em, it's just in my head, and I need to be here.
Bobby: The doctor said it's the only way to manage this thing, Jack. You're not gonna get back what you lost. It's the only way we can manage what you still got.

...

Lorenzo: Look, a guy like that invites you to a show...It could be a great opportunity.
Lorenzo: Listen. Does he know you sing at all? Did he hear anything from you? It's the opportunity of a lifetime.
Ally: I don't have the same disease you have. You get around celebrities like they're gonna rub off on you.
Lorenzo: What are you talking about?
Ally: "Oh, you know who I drove?" Like magic, now you're famous. And you're not. It's not magic, Dad.
Lorenzo: Sweetheart.
Ally: He's a drunk! You know all about drunks.

...

Bobby [to Ally]: He's out. You think maybe he drinks a bit much? Sweetie, you have no idea. Tell you one thing, though. He's never brought a girl on stage before. And it's been a long, long time since he played like that.

...

Jack: You come and sing with me.
Ally: Where?
Jack: Well, first stop's Arizona.
Ally: I'm never getting on that thing with you when you've been drinking.
Jack: I haven't even thought about drinking or anything else.
Ally: We'll see how long that lasts.

...

Jack [after punching Bobby in the face]: You sold Dad's ranch! They turned it into a fucking wind farm! I bought that for you. Where's his grave?
Bobby: He washed away in a fucking storm. His grave isn't there any more. I told you, but you were fucking drunk. You were fucking loaded...and already pissing yourself a swan song. Fuck if you shed a tear for that piece of shit you idolise for no goddamn fucking reason. All Dad ever did for you...was make you his fucking drinking buddy. And you'd be right there with him if he was still alive and you fucking know it. What did you think... that I was gonna fucking take care of it...while I'm fucking cradling your ass all over the goddamn world?
Jack: Yeah. That's a good excuse. Raising a little brother so you don't have to deal with the fact that you were no fucking good.
Bobby: If I was no good, why'd you steal my fucking voice? Huh?
Jack: Cos you had nothing to fucking say. You were too proud to sing any of the songs I ever wrote.
Bobby: Well, I got something to say now, pal. I'm done being your fucking errand boy. I quit.

...

Rez: That was unbelievable what you did.
Ally: Thank you.
Rez: I don't know if you know about me, about where I've come from. I'm Rez Gavron.
Ally: I know who you are.
Rez: What you have right now goes way beyond just this. There's people who need to hear what you have to say musically. This is not normal stuff. It's really amazing what you're doing. I think you have it all. I do. And the question to you is, "What do you want?" I'm in that position, to put you wherever you want to be.
Ally: I...I don't...I don't have...I gotta talk to Jack.

...

Ally: He said that he thought Interscope Records might really wanna sign me. And he said that he has this wonderful studio with a beautiful live room and these amazing producers he wants to bring in to record my songs. And he loves Look What I've Found. Remember the song we did in the diner? Remember, when we were driving?
Jack: Yeah.
Ally: Yeah? I mean, it was so nice talking to him, and he really believes in me.
[Jack falls to the floor in a drunken stupor]
Woman: You all right, Jack?
Ally: He's OK. He's fine. He does this all the time.

...

Ally: Hey, Jack. What's going on? Hm? What are you doing?
[Jack smears cream cheese up and down her face]
Ally: Oh. You jealous fuck.

...

Rez: What happened with the dancers there?
Ally: I just thought that I should do it alone cos it's so overwhelming.
Rez: OK, but you can't go rogue on me. You have to understand that this is what I do and you have to trust me, OK? So, if I give you a couple of dancers, don't not use them and then miss a couple of steps, OK? We also have to change your hair. We have to change the colour of your hair.
Ally: What's wrong with my hair?
Rez: I'm thinking platinum, or...
Ally: I don't wanna be fucking blonde. I am who I am, and I'm worried about Jack.

The part where the show becomes a business.

George: She's good, bro.
Jack: I know.
George: Maybe she's a way out. Ain't nothing to be afraid of, bro. You know, it's like... I don't know... You... You float out... float out at sea, and then... one day, you find a port, say, "I'm gonna stay here for a few days." A few days becomes a few years. And then you forgot where you were goin' in the first place. And then you realise you don't really give a shit about where you was going, cos you like where you're at. That's how it is for me.

...

Rez: You. SNL. Alec Baldwin hosting.
Ally: Did you get it?
Rez: Season finale.

...

Jack: Listen, if I just don't say this, I'll never forgive myself.
Ally: What?
Jack: If you don't dig deep in your fucking soul...you won't have legs. I'm just telling you that. You don't tell the truth out there, you're fucked. All you got is you, and what you wanna say to people. They are listening now. They're not gonna be listening forever. Trust me. So you gotta grab it. And you don't apologise, you don't worry about why they're listening or how long they're gonna be listening, you just tell 'em what you wanna say.

...

Ally: You wanna be my drinking buddy? Wanna practise?
Jack: I don't think you could handle it. Know why? Cos you're too worried about what everybody else is thinking.
Jack: Yeah, you couldn't be my dad if you fucking tried. He had more talent in his finger than you have in your whole body. So don't even fucking go there about that, all right? That's over the fucking line.
Ally: Why don't you have another drink and we can just get fucking drunk until we fucking disappear, OK? Do you got those pills?
Jack: You're just fucking ugly, that's all.
Ally: I'm what?
Jack: You're just fucking ugly.
Ally: Get the fuck out! Get out! I said, get out!

...

Jack: What do you mean, they don't want me to sing?
Bobby: They hired this fucking kid at the last minute. They didn't tell me a fucking thing. Look, we've been on that other side before. More than once. Truth is, I didn't deliver.
Jack: Well, it's a good thing I know the... how to play the guitar. It's fine, I'll do it.
Bobby: You're gonna do it?
Jack: Sure.

....

Ally: I thought he was supposed to be singing....oh, God!

...

Ally: I have figured out what I think is the best solution for both of us. Jack should come out on tour with me. We'll start with our duets. I know he's gonna be able - to play by himself. Rez: You realise that's not an option.
Ally: He's... He's so inside of his art in a way he has never been. He can hear himself again.
Rez: Ally, there is no way that you can take Jack on tour with you. There's no way. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Ally: If you can't make that happen, then fucking cancel the tour.

...

Jack [to Bobby]: Hey, you know...when I...when I said I...you know, when I took your voice, you know. It was you I idolised. It wasn't Dad.

...

Rez [to Jack]: We're not exactly friends here. While you've been away, we've been back here in serious triage, trying to clean up your fucking mess. Barely finding our way through it. You almost single-handedly derailed her whole career. You understand that? She's never gonna say this to you. She loves you too much. Just by staying married to you, she looks like a joke. It's embarrassing. Let's be honest, we both know it's only a matter of time before that's pushed aside again for the real thing. And when that happens...I don't want her anywhere near you.

...

Jack: Hey.
Ally: What?
Jack: I just wanted to take another look at you.

...

Bobby: Some kid started singing one of his songs in a bar I was in the other night. They're playing his songs everywhere. At first I got angry. I don't know why. I guess I felt like..."How can any of these people feel like they knew him?" Who he really was. But then something changed. And it soothed me. That it wasn't...wasn't all for fucking nothing.
Ally: The last thing I did was lie to him.
Bobby: Listen to me. It isn't your fault. It just isn't. You know whose fault it was? Jack. That's it. No-one else. Not you, not me. No-one but Jack.

...

Bobby: Jack talked about how music is essentially 12 notes between any octave. 12 notes and the octave repeats. It's the same story. Told over and over. Forever. All any artist can offer the world... is how they see those 12 notes. That's it. Hm. He loved how you see them. He just kept saying..."I love how she sees them, Bobby."
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

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iambiguous
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Posts: 29652
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
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### Re: philosophy in film

Annie is the "long suffering" girlfriend of Duncan. She begins a "trans-Atlantic romance" with "once revered, now faded, singer-songwriter" Tucker. Meanwhile Tucker has become the "musical obsession" of Duncan.

Yes, another "romantic comedy" about a life-changing rendezvous with second chances. In other words, the first relationship is kaput. But here is a chance to rebound into a new relationship. One that might even actually last. Meanwhile, we're in the audience sizing these people up. What we want is to be able to identify with at least one of them so that we can at least root for one or the other relationship.

Now, it's a comedy so we expect to find reasons to actually laugh. But are these people worth investing two hours of your life emotionally? Are the parts that are anything but laughing matters worth committing to? Well, as one IMDb reviwer put it, "[t]he jokes are subtle, clever, original" with "[c]onvincing acting, real characters, none of that fake, plastic Hollywood thing."

That works for me.

And, let's face it, when it comes to musicians and fans, there is no predicting what might tumble out of peoples mouths. Or what they might actually be inclined to do. Some people take their music very, very seriously. And this is based on a novel from Nick "High Fidelity" Hornby.

Then the part that revolves around the gap between what the fan[atic] thinks about a legendary rock musician and what the musician himself thinks about that. After all, imagine how embarrassing that can be.

IMDb

The film involves musicians and fans. In real life, the director of the film Jesse Peretz is also a musician.

In Duncan's final video (during the credits), there is a copy of David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest behind him. First, that novel inspires a number of fans who are as obsessed with Foster Wallace as Duncan is with Tucker Crowe. Second, those obsessed fans are often youngish to middle-aged men, much like Duncan.

According to an interview with Yahoo program Build, during filming, Rose Byrne cut one of her index fingers clean off with a blender. It had to be surgically reattached.

at wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juliet,_Naked_(film)
trailer: https://youtu.be/oMjSNkAaABs

Juliet, Naked [2018]
Directed by Jesse Peretz

The backstory :

Duncan [videoblogging]: Hello, welcome to Can You Hear Me? Your source for all things Tucker Crowe. If you're here, you're probably already a fan of Tucker's music, but if you're merely Crowe-curious or you clicked on the link by accident, allow me introduce you to one of the most seminal and yet unsung figures of alternative rock. Although Tucker started writing songs in his early teens, his real breakthrough was the release of the 1993 album Juliet. It earned respectable college radio play, but was vastly underappreciated by the mainstream. On the list of Top Heartbreak Albums on RollingStone.com it comes only 43rd, which is a joke. Juliet, quite simply, is a masterpiece. Tucker wrote it after a whirlwind love affair with Julie Beatty, a model and fixture of the Los Angeles demimonde. The termination of their brief tryst simultaneously inspired him and crushed his soul. In June of that same year, 1993, Tucker played an engagement at the Pit Club in Minneapolis, United States, that would prove to be his final show. Last seen exiting the men's toilets after his first set, Tucker abruptly canceled all future shows, and has never performed publicly again. This snapshot, taken in 2014, is purported to be of Tucker on his sheep farm in Pennsylvania, although there is quite a lot of debate as to its authenticity. The true whereabouts and creative endeavors of Mr. Crowe remain a mystery. Be sure to click on the Mystery link of the side of the page.

Or, rather, Duncan's version of it.

Annie [voiceover]: Duncan's own obsessions dominate my life. And it's become clear that all along, he's been in love with another man. Not like that, but in an equally consuming and, quite frankly, really bothersome way. He is the ringleader of a community of 200 middle-aged men who gather together to obsessively deconstruct their hero's music and attempt to crack his mysteries.

...

Carly: So, do you guys have kids?
Annie: Oh, no, they're against Duncan's religion.
Ros: She's joking.
Duncan: She's not, actually. Annie and I decided a long, long time ago, that babies weren't our jam. The important thing is, we're happy where we are. I mean, who wants to bring kids into this bloody world?
Annie: Fuck kids.
Duncan: You know? Right?
Annie: Fuck them.

Annie wants kids

Gina: So, that Greek tragedy thing...?
Duncan: Right. Yeah...I guess my point was that these characters, they're already bound to their fate. Like Antigone.
Gina: Wow.
Duncan: Or Medea.
Gina: So I have to read Antigone to understand The Wire?
Duncan: Not strictly speaking, but it wouldn't hurt.

...

Gina: Okay, I'm going to sound like a wanker, but I'm going to say it anyway. I believe in the power of art. I believe that creativity can change people's lives.
Duncan: That's fucking refreshing. I just...I hope you haven't come to the wrong place.
Gina: Why?
Duncan: The next Bob Dylan could be playing up there, these people wouldn't look up from their fucking sudoku.

...

Annie [about new music from Tucker]: I should have warned you that it was so dreary. I didn't say anything.
Duncan: Dreary?
Annie: Yeah. I mean, I suppose it's interesting if you've heard the finished version, but... What did you think?
Duncan: What did I think? I think it's a bloody masterpiece, Annie. Dreary? You can't be serious. Oh, what else is dreary according to you? The Sopranos? Hamlet? Jeez Louise. This is history, Annie. I'm going to write it.
Annie: It is not history, it's boring versions of songs that you've heard a million times before.
Duncan: Oh, my God, you think that's what this is? This is big for me, that this has happened. And I just don't want to spend my time in the aftermath of this new information with someone who doesn't get it. I want to spend it with people who do.

...

Duncan: 158. Oh, somebody new. This is a long one. "Relic Master" they go by. They claim to have already heard the album. I doubt that. Let's see what they..."Juliet, Naked is naked all right. A naked attempt to squeeze a few more quid out of a long-dead career." Sounds like you and he would get along swimmingly.
Annie: She.
Duncan: No, I seriously doubt it's a woman. We don't get a lot of lady visitors.
Annie: Well, it is.

...

Tucker [voiceover from an email to Annie]: Bingo. You nailed it. I couldn't have explained it better myself. All good things, Tucker Crowe. P.S., the folks on that website, they seem pretty weird, so I'd be grateful if you didn't pass on the address. Thanks.

...

Tucker [voiceover from email to Annie]: Yes, it is really me. Although, I can't think of a real way of proving it to you. How about this...I didn't see the face of God in a Minneapolis toilet bowl. I haven't been secretly making R&B albums with Lauryn Hill. I don't have 200 hours' worth of material locked in a shed, contrary to what your friends on the website may think. In fact, my guitar hasn't been out of its case for years. I currently live in the garage behind the house where my son Jackson lives with my ex."

...

Tucker [voiceover in text to Annie]: What to do if you've wasted 15 years of your life? All right, first off, you have to whittle that number down. Subtract all the time spent reading good books, having enjoyable conversations and sleeping, because those are important things. And you should be able to bring that squandered time down to more like 10, and anything under a decade you're allowed to write off for tax purposes. That's a joke.

...

Annie [voiceover in email to Tucker]: My dad died when Ros was only 12, and we'd already lost our mom. So it was just the two of us. By the time my boyfriend and I moved in together, I'd had my share of parenting. Or so I thought. Now, with irritating predictability, I've started aching for a child, for all the usual reasons, like wanting to feel unconditional love, as opposed to faint, conditional affection.

...

Tucker [voiceover in email to Annie]: I'm sorry about that ache. I wish I knew the thing to say. I don't imagine this is much of a consolation, but I've brought a lot of kids into the world, and most of them are just reminders of how I've blown it in that department. Sometimes my life looks like an endless streak of staring responsibility directly in the eye, and then running the other way.

...

Duncan: Hey, how do you even know about Grace?
Lizzie [daughter]: You let it slip to Mom back when you were in love and X-ing or something.
Duncan: Look, I realize it's an unforgivable chapter of my life, but I'm hoping not to be judged by that alone, okay?
Lizzie: Okay.

The mysterious Grace.

Annie [voiceover]: Tucker. I've just read through this thread and I've realized I've been sharing thoughts I've never said aloud to anybody. That's not a good sign, is it? I mean, maybe it is, but I've told my boyfriend nothing of our little email affair. It's like I'm dabbling in betrayal.

...

Ros: You already fancy someone, don't you? Come on, cough it up. Who is it?
Annie: It's nobody. It's just...well, I did...I met someone on the Internet.
Ros: I love it. The Internet. God, you're finally entering the modern age. Which site was it? One for clever people, no doubt. HornierStories.com?
Annie: Duncan's website.
Ros: Another Tucker Crowe loser? Oh, Jesus, Annie, are you mental?
Annie: No, it's weirder than that. It's actually Tucker Crowe.
Ros: No, it's not.
Annie: I'm not kidding.
Ros: Tucker Crowe. As in, Duncan's idol Tucker Crowe.
Annie: Yes. What happened was he read that review I posted.
Ros: This is that syndrome.
Annie: What syndrome?
Ros: Where someone falls in love with their captor.

...

Tucker [voiceover in email to Annie]: Big news. I'm coming to London.

...

Annie [on phone]: Hello?
Duncan: Hi, it's Tucker.
Annie: I'm dying to hear your excuse.
Duncan: Well, it's...it's pretty good. Um...I had a heart attack.

...

Duncan [to Lizzie and Zak]: Annie's my friend from England. We were supposed to hook up yesterday, but then that didn't go so well.
Annie: We don't even know each other...
Duncan: Well, we know each other. We met on a website.
Lizzie: A website?
Annie: Not that kind of website.

...

Annie [on phone]: It was silly of me to have come. I don't know what I was thinking.
Duncan: No, it was kind of you to come. Look... one of the big problems with screwing up the first half of your life is, you know, try as you might, you can't press reset, you know? I mean, I...I can't get to zero, you know? And I was just wondering if you would...if we could try this one more time again tomorrow?
Annie: Are they still there, your ex-girlfriends? They were very nice.
Duncan: No, no, everybody's gone. Everybody except Jackson, says Jackson. Here he is. He wants to talk to you.
Jackson: Hi, Annie. I found out what a catheter is.

...

Tucker: Waterloo station, Jackson. Most famous spot in all of London.
Jackson: Really?
Tucker: For real. I mean, if you're a Kinks fan.

...

Annie [after Tucker stumbles into Duncan's shrine to him]: I can explain this.
Duncan: "Maxwell's, '89, Bar Astro-Dusseldorf". Did I play at Dusseldorf?
Annie: It's not what it looks like. I can explain.
Duncan [pointing to a photograph]: That's me and my high school chess club.
Annie: Really?
Duncan: Yeah.
Annie: I can explain this to you. I know this looks weird. Remember the review on the website? And the guy...it was a really over-the-top review, and you called him like a sad-sack blogger.
Tucker: Oh, Duncan-something?
Annie: Yes! God. Oh, my God, if he knew that you knew his name...
Tucker: So, that guy is the guy. Oh, that's your 15 years of...
Annie: Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Bingo. That's it. That's it. And this is his room... shrine... temple where he lives and worships you.

...

Annie: This is Duncan. Duncan Thomson.
Tucker [shaking Duncan's hand]: Tucker Crowe.
Annie: That's what I was trying to tell you.
Duncan: And I'm Stevie fucking Wonder. Who do you want to be? Eartha fucking Kitt?

...

Duncan: If she wants to make a sad spectacle of herself around town by hanging out with some guy old enough to be her father, that's her business. But mocking me by dragging Tucker into it is just embarrassing.
Gina: She was obviously just trying to wind you up.
Duncan: I know for a fact that there is no son. There were rumors of a daughter w ith a Swedish princess or potentially her cousin, but there's zero online chatter of a son.
Gina: Did it look like Tucker Crowe?
Duncan: No. God no.
[he looks at a photograph of a much younger Tucker Crowe]
Duncan: Not entirely. Fuck.

...

Annie: Can I ask you, what's the deal with Grace?
Tucker: What do you mean?
Annie: Why does her name bother you and the others don't?
Tucker: It doesn't bother me. I...I've never even met her.
Annie: How's that possible?

...

Duncan: There is a possibility that maybe I owe you an apology.
Tucker: Well, when will you know for sure?
Duncan: It occurs to me that there's no reason for you to claim that you are...he if you were not...he.
Tucker: Well, that's a start.
Duncan: It's just... I can't be certain, you know?
Tucker: Well, I have a passport.

...

Duncan: I'm sure Annie's told you, but I am a great admirer of your work, so...
Tucker: Cool.
Duncan: I don't think that I would be overstating the case to suggest that I am something of a world expert.
Duncan: Okay. Wow. You can tell me where I've gone wrong.
Tucker: I wouldn't know where to start.

...

Duncan [after droning on and on about what he thinks he knows about Tucker]: I know the whole thing left you shattered. And I just want you to know that from that death was born a seminal masterwork.
Tucker: Oh, God, a masterwork?
Duncan: I don't use that word lightly, sir.
Tucker: All right, I was being really nice, okay? But it's clear that you don't know shit.
Duncan: Hey, am a I fan? Guilty as charged. Okay, yes. Am I a little overzealous in my quest for the truth?
Tucker: Listen, man, if you can't realize that Juliet is a piece of shit...
Duncan: Don't say that.
Tucker: Yeah, it is.
Duncan: You don't mean that.

...

Duncan: Maybe my review of your demos wasn't exactly correct, but that original album, Tucker? Do you have any idea how much that touches us? How much that has meant to me my whole life? The honesty in your words...
Tucker: Would you stop! It's not worth the effort.
Duncan: It is to me.

...

Duncan [getting up to leave]: I'm going to go. I'm going to...This feels like a mistake.
[he walks to the door then stops and turns around]
Duncan: Just one final thing. I think that people like you, people with real talent, you don't value it because it comes naturally to you. And we never value things that we...that come easily. But I value that album more than maybe anything I've ever heard. Not because it's perfect, but because of what it means to me. Ultimately, I don't give a shit what it means to you. Art isn't for the artist no more than water is for the bloody plumber. But thank you. I really, really enjoyed it.

...

Tucker: Last time I played a show I didn't even finish it. I was at this club called The Pit, and in between sets I went to the bathroom. And then my ex walks in the door. Julie. She's holding this baby. And I... and I acted all confused, as if, after we broke up, a million people hadn't called and told me that she was pregnant, you know? As if her brother hadn't cursed me out the day the child was born. But she... she held out this little girl and said, you know, "Don't you want to look at her?"
Annie: Grace?
Tucker: Yeah. Grace. And I looked at her. And then Julie said something, you know, that I didn't hear. Like, she said... she said something to me about the baby bottle, or she forgot her bag or something. I thought that she was abandoning the child with me. You know? And I just panicked. And I wanted to follow after her, but I... I didn't think that I could walk out of this club with this baby. There's all these people out there. So, I...I set Grace down. And then I walked out. I went into the parking lot, and I could hear everybody calling for me, but I... I didn't go back. And then I couldn't play any of those songs anymore, you know? After that, I just...I couldn't play these insipid, self-pitying songs about Julie breaking my heart. You know, they were a joke. And before I know it, a couple of decades have gone by and some doctor hands me...hands me Jackson. I hold him, you know, and I look at him. And I know that this boy...is my last chance.

...

Tucker [on phone]: Uh, is this Grace?
Grace: Speaking.
Tucker: This is Tucker Crowe.
Grace: Okay. And this is regarding...?

...

Tucker [on phone]: Listen, I'm sorry for calling you out of the blue but...
Grace: Look, as I said to Lizzie, I have a father already.
Tucker: Oh. Okay. Yeah, right. No, I understand. It's just, when you say that, do you mean... Do you mean biologically, or...?
Grace: I'm not sure of the distinction you're making.
Tucker: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Right.
Grace: Whatever it is you're trying to work out, good luck. But it's just not going to involve me.
Tucker: Yes. Absolutely. I understand. Thank you.
[Grace hangs up]

...

Annie: Tucker, I was...It's silly.
Tucker: What is it?
Annie: What? I was wondering if you would be...if you'd be interested?
Tucker: What do you mean...?
Annie: I'm sorry. In me.
Tucker: In you? In you? What...how?
An nie: Oh, I mean, I...sexually.
Tucker: What do you mean? Like, here? Like right now?
Annie: Oh, no, no. I meant...in the future, later.
Tucker: Yes, definitely. I'm extremely interested.

...

Annie [to Duncan]: We broke up for a reason...You slept with somebody else because she had the correct response to an album.

...

Annie [voiceover]: Dear Tucker...I did receive your emails. Congratulations on getting your own place. I'm so sorry that I haven't replied sooner. I've just...I've been dealing with some really big life decisions. I moved to London, where I'm house-sitting for a friend of a friend, and I landed a job at a cool, little gallery. Somehow, the world just suddenly feels alive with possibility. I've also been seriously considering having a baby on my own. Last week, I finally gathered the nerve to go to a clinic and actually start the process. It's mental, right? Anyway, nothing's for certain, but whatever happens I feel I'll be all right. I can't believe Lizzie's boy is already a year old. She must be thrilled you're coming to visit. If you'd like to steal away for a cup of coffee, it'd be great to see you and catch up. I'd actually love that.

...

Duncan [voiceover as the end credits roll]: Apologies for my prolonged absence. I have been working through the news at hand and formulating an opinion with the care and judiciousness I believe the moment calls for. I'm speaking, of course, of the fact that Tucker has a new album. It's called So Where Was I? It's his first release of new material in 25 years. What is my verdict? Well, to quote another critic: "What is this shite?" We have a song about the pleasures of reading in the afternoon. We have a song about homegrown green beans. There's a little ditty expounding the joys of being a stepfather. I mean, in short, we have a tragedy. And there's a drum machine. There's a drum machine on a Tucker Crowe album. I mean, what the fuck? You may ask, as I did, what caused Tucker to produce this cloying, bloodless, catastrophe? Well, reportedly, Tucker has found love. And I am here to tell you, my friends, it doesn't suit him.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

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iambiguous
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