I was not abused

The origins of the imperative, "know thyself", are lost in the sands of time, but the age-old examination of human consciousness continues here.

I was not abused

Postby Fixed Cross » Thu Sep 02, 2021 5:22 pm

A few months earlier I made the idiotic claim that I had been abused, suggesting sexual abuse.

What I referred to was a botched and misplaced attempt at touch-oriented healing, by someone who was in a condition not at all suited to healing, namely abysmal sorrow.

This was over 20 years ago. It's been with me ever since but it wasn't abuse. I volunteered for it, having been convinced that there was something wrong with me, even though all I was suffering was, also, sorrow.

It was an incredibly stupid thing on my part both to volunteer for it and to later frame it as abuse. Shameful.

There were more shameful elements in that post. One of which is that I lied about my beautiful logic, that I devised it as a means to overcome a deathly guilt.

In fact that deathly sense of guilt, which was literally nearly killing me, was overcome by many means in the weeks leading up to the philosophic insight, among other ways by spending all my money on a trip to Los Angeles, where during the night I worked on myself every night using methods such as this;

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The city refreshed my soul, thusly;



And when I came back to my woman in Vienna I encountered the post The Ontological Tyranny by without-music, and this made all the objects of my philosophical and magical studies of the past 20 years click together, and I had the insight into the inner nature of the Will to Power, which instantly led to the realization that 'supernatural' things can indeed literally exist, because being is at its heart valuing, rather than 'stuff'.

This insight crowned my healing, I was finally free to drop my psychotic duty of suffering other peoples fates as if they were my own (I had insanely suffered from that for many years), and free to my own being.

In any case I was most certainly never sexually abused. My deepest apologies for suggesting that I was. Sheesh.
The strong do what they can, the weak accept what they must.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Dan~ » Fri Oct 08, 2021 8:07 am

I don't see much to be ashamed of, here.

I prefer regret over shame.
But regret can be overcome with hope.
I have a solid sense of hope.
It has helped me a lot in my existence.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Peter Kropotkin » Fri Oct 08, 2021 5:16 pm

Fixed Cross wrote:A few months earlier I made the idiotic claim that I had been abused, suggesting sexual abuse.

What I referred to was a botched and misplaced attempt at touch-oriented healing, by someone who was in a condition not at all suited to healing, namely abysmal sorrow.

This was over 20 years ago. It's been with me ever since but it wasn't abuse. I volunteered for it, having been convinced that there was something wrong with me, even though all I was suffering was, also, sorrow.

It was an incredibly stupid thing on my part both to volunteer for it and to later frame it as abuse. Shameful.

There were more shameful elements in that post. One of which is that I lied about my beautiful logic, that I devised it as a means to overcome a deathly guilt.

In fact that deathly sense of guilt, which was literally nearly killing me, was overcome by many means in the weeks leading up to the philosophic insight, among other ways by spending all my money on a trip to Los Angeles, where during the night I worked on myself every night using methods such as this;

Image

The city refreshed my soul, thusly;



And when I came back to my woman in Vienna I encountered the post The Ontological Tyranny by without-music, and this made all the objects of my philosophical and magical studies of the past 20 years click together, and I had the insight into the inner nature of the Will to Power, which instantly led to the realization that 'supernatural' things can indeed literally exist, because being is at its heart valuing, rather than 'stuff'.

This insight crowned my healing, I was finally free to drop my psychotic duty of suffering other peoples fates as if they were my own (I had insanely suffered from that for many years), and free to my own being.

In any case I was most certainly never sexually abused. My deepest apologies for suggesting that I was. Sheesh.



K: me thinks thou is protesting too much.... you clearly have unresolved issues....
walking away from this specific aspect doesn't solve the problem, be it abuse, sexual or
otherwise, or perhaps another form of abuse? I can't say what the specific problem is,
but it can only be solved by honesty on your part...... so, are you willing to be honest
about your core issues or do you just pretend they don't exists?
it doesn't need to be listed here on ILP... you can find your solution via
whatever method you deem necessary... but to cure oneself of what ails you
is, perhaps, the most philosophical thing you can do... recall your Socrates...

the first principle in philosophy is: To know oneself
the second principle is: the unexamined life isn't worth living.....

so, do you have the courage to examine your life?

are you truly a believer in Nietzsche or are you just another member of
the crowd?

Kropotkin
Now if only I could get the other "members of the collection of truth"
to put me on ignore, life would be good..

PK
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Pedro I Rengel » Fri Oct 08, 2021 5:37 pm

.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Pedro I Rengel » Fri Oct 08, 2021 5:54 pm

.
Last edited by Pedro I Rengel on Fri Oct 08, 2021 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Pedro I Rengel » Fri Oct 08, 2021 5:59 pm

Actually wasted words on this guy.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby promethean75 » Fri Oct 08, 2021 7:04 pm

Well me 'n keter propotkin r here if u wanna talk about it.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby MagsJ » Fri Oct 08, 2021 9:45 pm

_
I think that Fixed may be referring to a past friendship of a deceased friend, that had an ongoing catastrophic effect for him, from the friend’s family.

Don’t nobody read nobody's posts, on here?
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. ~MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something important at some point in time.. Huh!? ~MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a very bad DJ ~MagsJ

Examine what is said, not him who speaks ~Arab proverb

aes Sanātana Dharma Pali: the eternal way ~it should not be rigid, but inclusive of the best of all knowledge for the sake of Ṛta.. which is endless.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Fixed Cross » Sat Oct 09, 2021 4:34 pm

Dan~ wrote:I don't see much to be ashamed of, here.

I prefer regret over shame.
But regret can be overcome with hope.
I have a solid sense of hope.
It has helped me a lot in my existence.

I appreciate this, Dan.

Pedro I Rengel wrote:Actually wasted words on this guy.

Lol. You dummy.
It's happened to me once or twice too.

MagsJ wrote:_
I think that Fixed may be referring to a past friendship of a deceased friend, that had an ongoing catastrophic effect for him, from the friend’s family.

Don’t nobody read nobody's posts, on here?

Thanks MagsJ.
You're sharp, and right that it is kind of sad how little people are able to perceive, it being the result as much of a lack of empathic capacities as literacy.
The two go together, in fact, as I am learning to understand more and more reading of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.

Understanding.
The strong do what they can, the weak accept what they must.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby perpetualburn » Mon Oct 11, 2021 5:29 am

Fixed Cross wrote:


Beautifully shot ( I liked the quick edits to different quintessential LA places/times of day (that linger just long enough). You captured that LA/SoCal vibe very well, the real-life magic of everyday occurrences.
As a pillar of rising smoke did my angel condescend and appear, standing without reserve on the exhausted banks of infinite sorrow.

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Re: I was not abused

Postby Fixed Cross » Mon Oct 11, 2021 1:15 pm

Glad you watched it. That city. If the world ever comes back, Id love to live there. Ive done a lot of photography and filming but nowhere is there light like there is in and around LA. Which of course is why they put the movie industry there.

Mostly of course the magic hour light.
I drove Mulholland Drive on a cloudy afternoon, that wasn't much to inspire me, I have to go back just to drive it at nightfall, or after.
The strong do what they can, the weak accept what they must.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby MagsJ » Tue Nov 16, 2021 5:48 pm

Fixed Cross wrote:
MagsJ wrote:I think that Fixed may be referring to a past friendship of a deceased friend, that had an ongoing catastrophic effect for him, from the friend’s family.

Don’t nobody read nobody's posts, on here?
Thanks MagsJ.
You're sharp, and right that it is kind of sad how little people are able to perceive, it being the result as much of a lack of empathic capacities as literacy.

..and a jumping to conclusions, too.

I have been misunderstood here, over a few things too, of which I didn’t bother choose to correct. :evilfun:

The two go together, in fact, as I am learning to understand more and more reading of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.

Understanding.

It was a long series of unfortunate events and circumstances, spanning many centuries, that brought Rome to a halt.. and as always, corruption, bribery, coercion and wars, had their part to play in that downfall.

Same as what allowed the East India Company to dominate in India, but only actually eventually dominating for under a century, and not 100s of years.. as the history-book writers would have the World believe.
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. ~MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something important at some point in time.. Huh!? ~MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a very bad DJ ~MagsJ

Examine what is said, not him who speaks ~Arab proverb

aes Sanātana Dharma Pali: the eternal way ~it should not be rigid, but inclusive of the best of all knowledge for the sake of Ṛta.. which is endless.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Meno_ » Tue Nov 16, 2021 6:15 pm

Paradoxical just sayin'
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Re: I was not abused

Postby MagsJ » Tue Nov 16, 2021 6:56 pm

Meno_ wrote:Paradoxical just sayin'

How so?

..as paradoxical as your insincere, sincerity? what else, ya got, to say?
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. ~MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something important at some point in time.. Huh!? ~MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a very bad DJ ~MagsJ

Examine what is said, not him who speaks ~Arab proverb

aes Sanātana Dharma Pali: the eternal way ~it should not be rigid, but inclusive of the best of all knowledge for the sake of Ṛta.. which is endless.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Meno_ » Tue Nov 16, 2021 8:13 pm

MagsJ wrote:
Meno_ wrote:Paradoxical just sayin'

How so?

..as paradoxical as your insincere, sincerity? what else, ya got, to say?




A trip up a laddee, of paradoxes and incencirity no.

It is a downward slide and the fault is mine, and that needs long winded explanation.

Real-lay MagsJ
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Re: I was not abused

Postby MagsJ » Tue Nov 16, 2021 8:47 pm

Meno_ wrote:A trip up a laddee, of paradoxes and incencirity no.

It is a downward slide and the fault is mine, and that needs long winded explanation.

Real-lay MagsJ

Can you not just give a non-longwinded explanation? as that will perfectly suffice.

If you cannot, may I suggest you leave it, so as not to imposition yourself and put yourself out.

Good day Meno_
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. ~MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something important at some point in time.. Huh!? ~MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a very bad DJ ~MagsJ

Examine what is said, not him who speaks ~Arab proverb

aes Sanātana Dharma Pali: the eternal way ~it should not be rigid, but inclusive of the best of all knowledge for the sake of Ṛta.. which is endless.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Meno_ » Tue Nov 16, 2021 9:10 pm

MagsJ wrote:
Meno_ wrote:A trip up a laddee, of paradoxes and incencirity no.

It is a downward slide and the fault is mine, and that needs long winded explanation.

Real-lay MagsJ

Can you not just give a non-longwinded explanation? as that will perfectly suffice.

If you cannot, may I suggest you leave it, so as not to imposition yourself and put yourself out.

Good day Meno_



Hello Mags J


Paradoxical if You had the chance to read my 'visible-and-invisible thread, well not read in toto, because it probably is impossible due to it's seriously paradoxical content, looooong winded and cut off from real-i-ty as it may be, or appear as such,, but the idea of paradox within an insourmounteable other, - that is me and cannot really understand my self or, whatever you may take it for.


So, the rest, both the letting go and give a break to you and me, ..........the other option not really avail it'self currently.

& the rest be forgotten memory.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby MagsJ » Tue Nov 16, 2021 10:21 pm

Meno_ wrote:Paradoxical if You had the chance to read my 'visible-and-invisible thread, well not read in toto, because it probably is impossible due to it's seriously paradoxical content, looooong winded and cut off from real-i-ty as it may be, or appear as such,, but the idea of paradox within an insourmounteable other, - that is me and cannot really understand my self or, whatever you may take it for.

Meno_ has a paradox.. but one with, apparently, a solvable end.

So, the rest, both the letting go and give a break to you and me, ..........the other option not really avail it'self currently.

& the rest be forgotten memory.

One does what One feels/One thinks, that One should do what is best for them, and so a choice is made.

Make sure it’s the right choice, for you, Meno_
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. ~MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something important at some point in time.. Huh!? ~MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a very bad DJ ~MagsJ

Examine what is said, not him who speaks ~Arab proverb

aes Sanātana Dharma Pali: the eternal way ~it should not be rigid, but inclusive of the best of all knowledge for the sake of Ṛta.. which is endless.
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Re: I was not abused

Postby Meno_ » Wed Nov 17, 2021 12:56 am

MagsJ wrote:
Meno_ wrote:Paradoxical if You had the chance to read my 'visible-and-invisible thread, well not read in toto, because it probably is impossible due to it's seriously paradoxical content, looooong winded and cut off from real-i-ty as it may be, or appear as such,, but the idea of paradox within an insourmounteable other, - that is me and cannot really understand my self or, whatever you may take it for.

Meno_ has a paradox.. but one with, apparently, a solvable end.

So, the rest, both the letting go and give a break to you and me, ..........the other option not really avail it'self currently.

& the rest be forgotten memory.

One does what One feels/One thinks, that One should do what is best for them, and so a choice is made.

Make sure it’s the right choice, for you, Meno_



Thanks, MagsJ, but some paradoxes are solvable, and some remain so.

Maybe it is fated to be. ........
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Re: I was not abused

Postby MagsJ » Sat Nov 20, 2021 6:03 pm

Meno_ wrote:Thanks, MagsJ, but some paradoxes are solvable, and some remain so.

Maybe it is fated to be. ........

Fated? ..by what? the stars.. the sky.. others.. ourselves? Some of the many factors, that can make up One’s fate.
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. ~MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something important at some point in time.. Huh!? ~MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a very bad DJ ~MagsJ

Examine what is said, not him who speaks ~Arab proverb

aes Sanātana Dharma Pali: the eternal way ~it should not be rigid, but inclusive of the best of all knowledge for the sake of Ṛta.. which is endless.
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