Confessions of a repeated therapy session

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Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 6:30 pm

I was in my early mid 30’s. My therapy sessions were outdoors and 3 hours long.

My therapist was a drop dead gorgeous woman in her mid 30’s as well.

We went to a park and I sat on a bench, where my feet were on the bench with and my butt on the table. Her feet were on the ground and her butt was on the bench... so... I was elevated to her.

How I could go through 35 years of life and never have this occur to me is a mystery in itself.

I’m looking down as we’re chit chatting and I immediately notice I have a complete unobstructed view of her breast and nipples. She’s even wearing a bra. Wasn’t working.

So I spent 2 1/2 hours staring directly at this super hot woman’s breasts, except when she looked up, then I’d lookup and make eye contact with her. Which was brief that particular day. So basically, I stared at the breasts for 2 1/2 hours. She was a happily married woman who was my therapist, which made it all the more taboo.

The eroticism for me was off the charts.

We met about twice a week for a couple years and I’d actually maneuver her so that I could stare at her nipples every time I saw her. She had no clue.

The moral of this story is... I have long since had to regret those memories because it violates the pleasurable exclusive access problem at anyone’s expense.

She doesn’t care her husband gets to see her at will and she gets to see her husband at will, excluding many others.

That’s when I found out I was different than almost 100% of the human population and that almost 100% of the human population are sociopaths.

I’d have rather travelled back in time and taught myself what I know now, than to have had those many moments with her.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 6:55 pm

I think that therapy was extremely succesful and then afterwards something happened that caused a relapse.

Maybe it was a small case of a broken heart, which is just a thing that happens to anybody.

Nipples are beautiful. That she had a husband and was happy with him and still granted you this gift was a greath show of health, and itself the message. If you think she wasn't aware, you are incorrect.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 6:57 pm

origami wrote:I think that therapy was extremely succesful and then afterwards something happened that caused a relapse.

Maybe it was a small case of a broken heart, which is just a thing that happens to anybody.

Nipples are beautiful. That she had a husband and was happy with him and still granted you this gift was a greath show of health, and itself the message. If you think she wasn't aware, you are incorrect.


Everything I know today never came from a therapist.
Never came from a book.
Never came from a teacher.

That’s abuse.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:02 pm

A good therapist doesn't teach. A good therapist just shows you things in yourself.

A thirst for life, for example. The existence of beauty. That a human being somewhere is willing to sit 3 hours with you talking about stuff.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:06 pm

This one in particular seems to have taken it upon herslef to get you to fall back in love with life. Slowly. She must have noticed that you had severe paranoia and distortion from having felt wounded by life and distrusting everything about it.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:07 pm

What can an abused person do but seal themselves from life with hate, unless they can find eroticism in their situation?
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:08 pm

origami wrote:A good therapist doesn't teach. A good therapist just shows you things in yourself.

A thirst for life, for example. The existence of beauty. That a human being somewhere is willing to sit 3 hours with you talking about stuff.


I NEEDED to know what I know now even when I was young, like maybe 11 years old. I’d have understood it back then. Instead, there was this huge derail of thousands upon thousands of meaningless actual hell realms.

God doesn’t exist.

If God does exist, and God knew of the pleasurable exclusive access problem, God would have taught not only me as a child, but everyone.

There’s a problem with teaching that...

God is now known as impotent.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:09 pm

Notice that your problem isn't with eroticism, with life, but with access.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:10 pm

Like you feel that you have been denied.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:12 pm

If anyone is feeling denied. I feel denied.

You’re not a hyperempath. You don’t understand things like this.... and it’s not a switch you can just turn off once you’ve reached the point of no return.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:14 pm

Maybe you would feel denied even if other people didn't.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:15 pm

Maybe thre is no actual point of no return.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:18 pm

origami wrote:Maybe you would feel denied even if other people didn't.


I feel denied if I’m denied or others are denied.

I know the power of existence. I know this is wrong.

I take no delight in having an exclusive friend and I take no delight in not having a friend.

Only sociopaths do that. Take delight in the ultimate temptation ... the ultimate lie. That they deserve more than someone else, that it’s meaningful, perfect and purposeful.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

Welcome to thinking.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:19 pm

Take delight in life?
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:24 pm

origami wrote:Take delight in life?


Nope. You think you can blackmail me with this shit?

I tried to destroy all existence with my entire soul.

It’s impossible.

So I had to adapt.

I had to learn how to make existence meaningful in the first time of forever.

As it currently exists ... meaningless.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:25 pm

All I know is that pain makes you feel like that, which is normal.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:30 pm

origami wrote:All I know is that pain makes you feel like that, which is normal.


I have physical pain. Sure. Not a big deal.

I have psychological pain. Sure. Not a big deal.

I have soul pain. It’s a big deal to know all of you are psychopaths (translation in Greek: soul sick)

It hurts me to be with 8 billion psychopaths.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:30 pm

Maybe it just hurts you to be with yourself.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:39 pm

origami wrote:Maybe it just hurts you to be with yourself.


I’m myself and all of you.

How in good conscience can you say that you’re doing fine?

Have you looked around this world?

That means you’re a sociopath.

Textbook definition. You don’t feel everything, you just feel yourself.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

Welcome to thinking.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:40 pm

Ecmandu wrote:I’m myself and all of you.


No, you are not.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ichthus77 » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:42 pm

Maybe you’re meant to live in a place where all the women go around without any shirts on and just breast-feed their babies all day and nobody cares.

In blocking people from having access unless they can have access to everyone and everyone can have access to them, aren’t you the ultimate blocker?

since not everyone can have access to everyone and not everyone can access them, don’t you have to allow people to access each other as best they can? And is physical access the best possible way to access someone?

You’re full of shit.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby iambiguous » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:44 pm

Yo, Meno! You're up!! :lol:
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 7:53 pm

origami wrote:
Ecmandu wrote:I’m myself and all of you.


No, you are not.


You’d be surprised what a hyper empath is.

There are hyper telepaths. I’m not one of those.

Omniscience is impossible. You’d have to know what it’s like to not know what an apple is and know what an apple is to know everything... a direct contradiction.

I always use this analogy: I know nothing about neuroscience. In order to know EXACTLY what it’s like to be me, you also have to know NOTHING about neuroscience. But you know everything about neuroscience because you’re all knowing, right?
Which means you know nothing about me.

Being a hyper empath is like looking at a forest on a walk... you see all the trees. They’re all different, but you can still see them all. No contradiction there. I don’t have the problem of seeing them all as non trees.

Hyper empaths are like people walking into a forest... I see all of the grass, trees and bushes all at once.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

Welcome to thinking.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby Ecmandu » Fri Jul 01, 2022 8:03 pm

Ichthus77 wrote:Maybe you’re meant to live in a place where all the women go around without any shirts on and just breast-feed their babies all day and nobody cares.

In blocking people from having access unless they can have access to everyone and everyone can have access to them, aren’t you the ultimate blocker?

since not everyone can have access to everyone and not everyone can access them, don’t you have to allow people to access each other as best they can? And is physical access the best possible way to access someone?

You’re full of shit.


You’re not guarding yourself from hell.

Violating the pleasurable exclusive access problem sends you to DEEP hell.

Seeing someone naked exclusively sends you to about the same hell as being a person who rapes and tortured someone for decades as a kidnapped person in their basement.

I’m patching existence to fix this problem.

You apologize for an existence you don’t understand.
The purpose of life is to give everyone individually what they always want at the expense of no being - forever.

The biggest problem of life is the, “hey, I don’t want this to be happening” problem for everyone.

Welcome to thinking.
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Re: Confessions of a repeated therapy session

Postby origami » Fri Jul 01, 2022 8:22 pm

Ecmandu wrote:
origami wrote:
Ecmandu wrote:I’m myself and all of you.


No, you are not.


You’d be surprised what a hyper empath is.

There are hyper telepaths. I’m not one of those.

Omniscience is impossible. You’d have to know what it’s like to not know what an apple is and know what an apple is to know everything... a direct contradiction.

I always use this analogy: I know nothing about neuroscience. In order to know EXACTLY what it’s like to be me, you also have to know NOTHING about neuroscience. But you know everything about neuroscience because you’re all knowing, right?
Which means you know nothing about me.

Being a hyper empath is like looking at a forest on a walk... you see all the trees. They’re all different, but you can still see them all. No contradiction there. I don’t have the problem of seeing them all as non trees.

Hyper empaths are like people walking into a forest... I see all of the grass, trees and bushes all at once.


It doesn't take a hyper empath to know what pain is.

Where you a hyper empath when you were in your therapy, staring down the girl's blouse? Or were you just a normal human being like everybody else?

You are not me, you are yourself. Maybe if you were me you wouldn't be the person that no longer has that beautiful therapist in his life?

It's not enjoying a beautiful body that is unhealthy, or to feel pain at losing it. It's to reject life as a consequence.
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