a thread for mundane ironists

This is the place to shave off that long white beard and stop being philosophical; a forum for members to just talk like normal human beings.

Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Mon Oct 03, 2022 7:47 pm

The Onion

Ken Starr’s Family Finds Note Ordering Them To Frame Monica Lewinsky For His Death


The note with "the stain" on it.

School Administration Reminds Female Students Bulletproof Vests Must Cover Midriff

In the South of course.

Self-Conscious Flasher Fully Clothed Under Trench Coat

Self-conscious jury convicts him anyway.

Man Who Stopped Dieting Already Seeing Results

Check it out: https://www.google.com/search?source=un ... =625&dpr=1

Girlfriend’s Back Too Knotted And Gnarled For Massage To Turn Sexy

Next up: girlfriend's front.

Officer Claims He Cracked Open Man’s Skull To Check For Drugs

And what he did find instead.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Tue Oct 04, 2022 3:44 pm

Jean Luc Godard

Every edit is a lie.


Though, surely, not every edit here.

There is no such thing as intellectual property.

Well, not counting our own, of course.

In a sense, fear is the daughter of God, redeemed on Good Friday. She is not beautiful, mocked, cursed or disowned by all. But don’t be mistaken, she watches over all mortal agony, she intercedes for mankind; for there is a rule and an exception. Culture is the rule, and art is the exception. Everybody speaks the rule; cigarette, computer, t-shirt, television, tourism, war. Nobody speaks the exception. It isn’t spoken, it is written; Flaubert, Dostoyevsky. It is composed; Gershwin, Mozart. It is painted; Cézanne, Vermeer. It is filmed; Antonioni, Vigo. Or it is lived, then it is the art of living; Srebrenica, Mostar, Sarajevo. The rule is to want the death of the exception. So the rule for cultural Europe is to organise the death of the art of living, which still flourishes.

Next up: fitting Vladimir Putin into all of this.

If you want to make a documentary you should automatically go to the fiction, and if you want to nourish your fiction you have to come back to reality.

A "new wave" thing let's call it.

Poetry is a game of loser-take-all.

Next up: where they take it.

My aesthetic is that of the sniper on the roof.

Ah, like mine here.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Tue Oct 04, 2022 7:29 pm

The Onion

Kamala Harris Briefly Ponders Stepping Across DMZ To Whatever Fate Awaits Her


Any updates?

Brett Favre Makes Amends By Sending Photo Of His Penis To Every Mississippian On Welfare

Well, I guess that does count for something, right?

Biden Issues Urgent Warning For Americans To Decide What To Be For Halloween Now

Some suggestions: https://www.google.com/search?source=un ... =625&dpr=1

McDonald’s To Start Offering Happy Meals For Adults

About time, isn't it?

Asshole Moves To Part Of City Where All The Assholes Live

Or, here: Pinhead Posts In Part Of Philosophy Forum Where All The Pinheads Post

Body Breaking Down In Totally Different Order Than Man Expected

Fortunately, mine is breaking down in exactly the right order.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Wed Oct 05, 2022 3:16 pm

Barbara Ehrenreich

We can hardly pride ourselves on being the world’s preeminent democracy, after all, if the large numbers of citizens spend half their waking hours in what amounts, in plain terms, to a dictatorship.


Pick one:
1] goes too far
2] doesn't go far enough


Human intellectual progress, such as it has been, results from our long struggle to see things 'as they are,' or in the most universally comprehensible way, and not as projections of our own emotions. Thunder is not a tantrum in the sky, disease is not a divine punishment, and not every death or accident results from witchcraft. What we call the Enlightenment and hold on to only tenuously, by our fingernails, is the slow-dawning understanding that the world is unfolding according to its own inner algorithms of cause and effect, probability and chance, without any regard for human feelings.

Of course, not much progress here.

Then, in the 1980's, came the paroxysm of downsizing, and the very nature of the corporation was thrown into doubt. In what began almost as a fad and quickly matured into an unshakable habit, companies were 'restructuring,' 'reengineering,' and generally cutting as many jobs as possible, white collar as well as blue . . . The New York Times captured the new corporate order succintly in 1987, reporting that it 'eschews loyalty to workers, products, corporate structures, businesses, factories, communities, even the nation. All such allegiances are viewed as expendable under the new rules. With survival at stake, only market leadership, strong profits and a high stock price can be allowed to matter'.

Of course, that's all changed, right?

What these [personality] tests tell employers about potential employees is hard to imagine since the 'right' answer should be obvious to anyone who has ever encountered the principle of hierarchy and subordination. Do I work well with others? You bet, but never to the point where I would hesitate to inform on them for the slightest infraction. Am I capable of independent decision making? Oh yes, but I know better than to let this capacity interfere with a slavish obedience to orders . . .

Etcetera, etcetera...

According to a recent poll, 94% of Americans agree that "people who work fulltime should be able to earn enough to keep their families out of poverty."

And I'll bet the other 6% are here.

When you watch television, you never see people watching television. We love television because it brings us a world in which television does not exist.

That and, I suspect, other reasons.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Wed Oct 05, 2022 6:24 pm

The Onion

Area Man Accepts Burden Of Being Only Person On Earth Who Understands How World Actually Works


Next up: Area Poster.

Mom Figures It About Time To Sit Down Adolescent Daughter And Explain How Weight Watchers Points Work

No, seriously, how do they work?

Experts Say It's Not Too Late To Change Careers At 50, Though They Sure As Fuck Wouldn’t

Well, they don't call them experts for nothing.

Police Horse Unaware That's What He Is

And, incredibly enough, police dog too.

Serial Killer Thinking Of Interesting Ways To Incorporate Social Media

Any suggestions?

Teen Wastes Prime Childbearing Years Going To High School

Middle school too, right?
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Thu Oct 06, 2022 3:50 pm

Margaret Atwood from The Handmaid's Tale

That was when they suspended the Constitution. They said it would be temporary. There wasn't even any rioting in the streets. People stayed home at night, watching television, looking for some direction. There wasn't even an enemy you could put your finger on.


Fortunately, we have an enemy to put our finger on, don't we?

We lived, as usual by ignoring. Ignoring isn't the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.

Practice makes perfect to say the least.

As all historians know, the past is a great darkness, and filled with echoes.

Not unlike the present and the future.

I avoid looking down at my body, not so much because it’s shameful or immodest but because I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to look at something that determines me so completely.

If only from head to toe.
And if only from the cradle to the grave.


I feel like cotton candy: sugar and air. Squeeze me and I’d turn into a small sickly damp wad of weeping pinky-red.

No, really, what is cotton candy?

Faith is only a word, embroidered.

Not unlike, for most here, belief itself.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:04 pm

The Onion

NASA Panics After Asteroid Fires Back


My kind of asteroid.

Weird Bug Being Eaten By Even Weirder Bug

Next up: the weirdest bug of all.

Stargazing Woman Reminded Of How Small Own Tits Are In Grand Scheme Of Things

Next up: stargazing man.

Man Returns To Work After Vacation With Fresh, Reenergized Hatred For Job

Good for him!

Goldman Sachs Announces They’re Blowing Up A Nursing Home And There’s Nothing Anyone Can Do About It

Good for them!

Winning Lottery Numbers So Obvious In Hindsight

Don't you just hate that?
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby Ichthus77 » Fri Oct 07, 2022 12:00 am

Blowing up a nursing home is good?

What old lady beat you up with her umbrella?

If that never happened, it should asap.

What’s your prob. Fess up. Too many bad denture jokes from Grandpa?
Fall semester ends 12/16/22. Apologies if I do not reply immediately.

The thoughts/actions in your head should be both eternal and external. If they can’t be both, boot them. Not everyone is willing to part with the internal/external that is not in line with the eternal. That is why we don’t have heaven on earth.

Science: https://youtu.be/90sWAKwZHHE

Wisdom after forgetting, and rediscovering the written record of the forgotten: The only one you’re allowed to plagiarize is the self you no longer are.

Isn’t it “funny” how the religious rulers of Jesus‘ day wanted him crucified, and the secular rulers of our day want to turn him into a mere (at most) philosopher?
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Fri Oct 07, 2022 5:00 pm

Eric Hoffer

Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.


Here for example!!

We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Fortunately, over time, you barely hear them.
Or, sure, unfortunately.


Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket.

The American dream, for example.

People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them.

The part they leave out.

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Not that they have a clue why.

The Jews are a peculiar people: Things permitted to other nations are forbidden to the Jews.

Other nations drive out thousands, even millions of people, and there is no refugee problem. Russia did it. Poland and Czechoslovakia did it. Turkey threw out a million Greeks and Algeria a million Frenchmen. Indonesia threw out heaven knows how many Chinese--and no one says a word about refugees.

But in the case of Israel, the displaced Arabs have become eternal refugees. Everyone insists that Israel must take back every single Arab. Arnold Toynbee calls the displacement of the Arabs an atrocity greater than any committed by the Nazis. Other nations when victorious on the battlefield dictate peace terms. But when Israel is victorious it must sue for peace.

Everyone expects the Jews to be the only real Christians in this world.


Will this ever be resolved?
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby Ichthus77 » Fri Oct 07, 2022 6:14 pm

Yes. :)

But before that:

Are we going to keep negotiating with terrorists who want nukes?

I ran. I ran so far away.
Fall semester ends 12/16/22. Apologies if I do not reply immediately.

The thoughts/actions in your head should be both eternal and external. If they can’t be both, boot them. Not everyone is willing to part with the internal/external that is not in line with the eternal. That is why we don’t have heaven on earth.

Science: https://youtu.be/90sWAKwZHHE

Wisdom after forgetting, and rediscovering the written record of the forgotten: The only one you’re allowed to plagiarize is the self you no longer are.

Isn’t it “funny” how the religious rulers of Jesus‘ day wanted him crucified, and the secular rulers of our day want to turn him into a mere (at most) philosopher?
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Fri Oct 07, 2022 7:37 pm

tiny nietzsche

people aren't staring at me, they're staring with me


No, they're definitely staring [if not glaring] at me here.

live by the pen, die by the pen

Or the keyboard.

there are two twelve foot skeletons inside each of us

You tell me.

october is your last chance to work things out before winter fucks you up

Or, if you're lucky, november.

Plato: Leave the cave
Heidegger: Leave the metropolis
Nietzsche: Leave me alone


As long as you leave being the point, I suspect.

I don't know much about art, but I know what makes me cry

Or laugh like hell.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Sat Oct 08, 2022 5:27 pm

Randall Munroe

In the Clarendon Library at Oxford University sits a battery-powered bell that has been ringing since the year 1840. The bell “rings” so quietly it’s almost inaudible, using only a tiny amount of charge with every motion of the clapper. Nobody knows exactly what kind of batteries it uses because nobody wants to take it apart to figure it out.


Your turn to Google it.

The lesson: If the optimist says the glass is half full, and the pessimist says the glass is half empty, the physicist ducks.

Learned?

Horned lizards shoot jets of blood from their eyes for distances of up to 5 feet. I don’t know why they do this because whenever I reach the phrase “shoot jets of blood from their eyes” in an article I just stop there and stare at it until I need to lie down.

Who wouldn't, right?

While researching this answer, I managed to lock up my copy of Mathematica several times on balloon-related differential equations, and subsequently got my IP address banned from Wolfram|Alpha for making too many requests. The ban-appeal form asked me to explain what task I was performing that necessitated so many queries. I wrote, “Calculating how many rental helium tanks you’d have to carry with you in order to inflate a balloon large enough to act as a parachute and slow your fall from a jet aircraft."

Could happen to anyone.

Without us, Earth’s geology will grind on. Winds and rain and blowing sand will dissolve and bury the artifacts of our civilization. Human-caused climate change will probably delay the start of the next glaciation, but we haven’t ended the cycle of ice ages. Eventually, the glaciers will advance again. A million years from now, few human artifacts will remain.

Yo, Maia!

By choosing the right words, you can take an idea that's happening in your head and try to make an idea like it happen in someone else's.

:lol:
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Sat Oct 08, 2022 8:19 pm

Philosophy Tweets

"That awkward moment when you finish a math problem and your answer isn’t even one of the choices." Ritu Ghatourey


For example...?

"If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is." John von Neumann

Just out of curiosity, is this true?

"Go down deep enough into anything and you will find mathematics." Dean Schlicter

Not counting the morality of abortion of course.

"The believer is happy. The doubter is wise." Edgar Allan Poe.

Remember when that was still too close to call?

...I think that our own unique and distinctive personality blends with the wind, with the footsteps in the street, with the noises around the corner, and with the silence of memory, which is the great producer of ghosts." Octavio Paz

Pick one:
1] pure poetry
2] complete nonsense.


“Monsters cannot be announced. One cannot say: 'Here are our monsters,' without immediately turning the monsters into pets.” Jacques Derrida

Well, postmodern, deconstructed monsters anyway.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Sun Oct 09, 2022 5:21 pm

Colin Wilson from The Outsider

For the Outsider, the world into which he has been born is always a world without values. Compared to his own appetite for a purpose and a direction, the way most men live is not living at all; it is drifting. This is the Outsider’s wretchedness, for all men have a herd instinct that leads them to believe that what the majority does must be right. Unless he can evolve a set of values that will correspond to his own higher intensity of purpose, he may as well throw himself under a bus, for he will always be an outcast and a misfit.


No, really.

In The House of the Dead, Dostoevsky gives accounts of the criminals he met in Siberia; and there is about all these men, mostly murderers, that slight element of the more-than-human that instantly grips the reader’s interest (in contrast with the all-too-human characters of most modern novelists, who produce acute intellectual constipation after fifty pages). At the same time, the criminal, in choosing crime (if he chooses it, and doesn’t just drift into it from laziness), has made the voluntary descent into the dark world which places him a step nearer the resolution of good and evil that the saint achieves. Salvation through sin recurs constantly in Dostoevsky’s work.

The Hannibal Lector Syndrome let's call it.

...he has explored life from end to end and found it all hollow, when actually he is only constipated with his own worthless-ness. He fails to apply his intellect to the question, Why do all living things prefer life to death?

Me? Sure, go ahead, flip the coin.

Tolstoy has found a parable that brings home to the full the Outsider’s attitude to other men: he cites an Eastern fable of a man who clings to a shrub on the side of a pit to escape an enraged beast at the top and a dragon at the bottom. Two mice gnaw at the roots of his shrub. Yet while hanging, waiting for death, he notices some drops of honey on the leaves of the shrub, and reaches out and licks them. This is man, suspended between the possibilities of violent accidental death and inevitable natural death, diseases accelerating them, yet still eating, drinking, laughing at Fernandel in the cinema. This is the man who calls the Outsider morbid because he lacks appetite for the honey!

Exactly!

Nijinsky was badgered by the Outsider’s greatest enemy, human triviality. There was a ballet season in New York, with Nijinsky’s own company and a new Nijinsky ballet, and endless difficulties and annoyances to be overcome. Nijinsky had no business ability; his temperament was almost completely introverted, contemplative; these endless, unimportant demands by the outside world were an immense strain.

Any trivialities here?

The Outsider is he who cannot accept life as it is, who cannot consider his own existence or anyone else’s necessary. He sees ‘too deep and too much’.

She too.
But then she left.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Sun Oct 09, 2022 9:17 pm

Philosophy Tweets

"He has the most who is most content with the least." Diogenes


Okay, but the most and the least of what?

"Few people have the imagination for reality." Johann Goethe

And I'm guessing you're one of them.

"The public has an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing." Oscar Wilde

Okay, but who would have expected that here?

"Learning never exhausts the mind." Leonardo da Vinci

How idiotic is that?
Well, not counting his mind of course.


"As the world is weary of me so am I of it." John Knox

I hear that.

"You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time." John Knox

Like that will ever stop us.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Mon Oct 10, 2022 4:42 pm

Albert Camus from The Stranger

I may not have been sure about what really did interest me, but I was absolutely sure about what didn't.


Here, let's start with the pinheads.

I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.

Next up: the brutal indifference parts.

I had only a little time left and I didn't want to waste it on God.

Me? I'll take my chances if you can convince me of yours

Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter.

Except to the overwhelming majority of us where it does.

If something is going to happen to me, I want to be there.

Anyone here ever not been there?

Have you no hope at all? And do you really live with the thought that when you die, you die, and nothing remains?
Yes, I said.


What balls!
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Mon Oct 10, 2022 6:52 pm

Nein

Yes, we'll say, summer. It used to be for love. Then it was rebranded for global anxiety.


Also, Fall, Winter and Spring.

It’s not the heat. It’s the late capitalism.

And getting later all the time.

Signs that Twitter is adversely affecting your mental health:
1. You’re on Twitter.
2. You’re okay with that.


That's before Elon Musk takes over of course.

A gentle reminder that autumn is for the poets. Fall is for the rest of us.

Tell that to the leaves.

Friday. Everybody’s favorite end of history.

Monday. The start of the next one.

You say you want a revolution. But you’d love a weekend.

Or settle for one.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
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Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Tue Oct 11, 2022 3:49 pm

Matt Haig

She realised that she hadn’t tried to end her life because she was miserable, but because she had managed to convince herself that there was no way out of her misery.


Not a small distinction though, is it?

It is not the lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself.

Not a small distinction though, is it?

So long as there are still books on the shelves, you are never trapped. Every book is a potential escape.

Until, one day, they aren't.

Every second of every day we are entering a new universe. And we spend so much time wishing our lives were different, comparing ourselves to other people and to other versions of ourselves, when really most lives contain degrees of good and degrees of bad.

Most lives, sure. But not necessarily your life now.

At the beginning of a game, there are no variations. There is only one way to set up a board. There are nine million variations after the first six moves. And after eight moves there are two hundred and eighty-eight billion different positions. And those possibilities keep growing. There are more possible ways to play a game of chess than the amount of atoms in the observable universe. So it gets very messy. And there is no right way to play; there are many ways. In chess, as in life, possibility is the basis of everything. Every hope, every dream, every regret, every moment of living.

Of course the game of life is unimaginably more complex, isn't it? Just ask Benjamin Button. Or, here, me.

Life is frightening, and it is frightening for a reason, and the reason is that it doesn’t matter which branch of a life we get to live, we are always the same rotten tree. I wanted to be many things in my life. All kinds of things. But if your life is rotten, it will be rotten no matter what you do.

Just what we need, another optimist.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
User avatar
iambiguous
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Posts: 46765
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
Location: hanging out with godot

Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Tue Oct 11, 2022 8:41 pm

Werner Twertzog

I promise not to read any of the books you are writing about me.


Just out of curiosity, anyone here writing any books about me?

Undoubtedly, as we all know. The virulence of contagion among chickens outstrips even their sublime stupidity.

Well, as we all know now.

Dystopian. Protean. Chansonnier of urban hellscapes. Farewell.

Coolio, as it turns out.

Hell is other people.
Hell is being alone.
Everything is Hell.
—J. Jonah Jameson


Then double it.

Money and power do not bring happiness. Nothing brings happiness.

Me, I'll take my chances with money and power.

Do not panic.
And read Gilgamesh.


This guy...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilgamesh
...of course.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
User avatar
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Posts: 46765
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
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Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Wed Oct 12, 2022 3:48 pm

Sylvia Plath from The Bell Jar

I wanted to tell her that if only something were wrong with my body it would be fine, I would rather have anything wrong with my body than something wrong with my head, but the idea seemed so involved and wearisome that I didn’t say anything. I only burrowed down further in the bed.


Been there, done that.

Do you know what a poem is, Esther?
No, what? I would say.
A piece of dust.
Then, just as he was smiling and starting to look proud, I would say, So are the cadavers you cut up. So are the people you think you're curing. They're dust as dust as dust. I reckon a good poem lasts a whole lot longer than a hundred of those people put together.
And of course Buddy wouldn't have any answer to that, because what I said was true. People were made of nothing so much as dust, and I couldn't see that doctoring all that dust was a bit better than writing poems people would remember and repeat to themselves when they were unhappy or sick or couldn't sleep.


Dust to dust let's call it. And in a poem, if you prefer.

I guess I should have reacted the way most of the other girls were, but I couldn't get myself to react. I felt very still and very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo.

Or not dully at all, of course.

I am sure there are things that can't be cured by a good bath but I can't think of one.

Until, one day, she thought of one.

I would catch sight of some flawless man off in the distance, but as soon as he moved closer I immediately saw he wouldn’t do at all.

Ah, of course, the real world.

My mother said the cure for thinking too much about yourself was helping somebody who was worse off than you.

And if no one is?
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
User avatar
iambiguous
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Posts: 46765
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
Location: hanging out with godot

Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Wed Oct 12, 2022 8:05 pm

The Onion

Area Man Outraged His Private Information Being Collected By Someone Other Than Advertisers


Ah, the government.

Sight Of Coworkers' Stupid Fucking Faces Endured Yet Again

Fortunately, we don't have to see the stupid fucking faces of, say, the meat minds here.

Jordan Peterson Disgusted By Society Celebrating 2,560-Pound Minnesota Pumpkin

Just out of curiosity, was the pumpkin male or female?

Sean Hannity Plays Voicemail From His Dad Calling Him A Piece Of Shit To Demonstrate Healthy Father–Son Relationship

No, really: https://youtu.be/2PVvd6eAmjQ 8)

After Careful Deliberation, Baby Goes With Homosexuality

You know, in a free will world.

Cop Still Shooting Unarmed Civilian He Pulled Over Last Night

Black of course.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
User avatar
iambiguous
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Posts: 46765
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
Location: hanging out with godot

Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Thu Oct 13, 2022 4:11 pm

Jean-Paul Sartre, from Nausea

We have so much difficulty imagining nothingness.


The one before we were born more or less than the one after we die?

My memories are like coins in the devil's purse: when you open it you find only dead leaves.

Among other things: what the fuck does that mean?!

Once they have slept together they will have to find something else to veil the enormous absurdity of their existence.

Uh, sports? the arts? a hobby?
They don't call them distractions for nothing.


This is what fools people: a man is always a teller of tales, he lives surrounded by his stories and the stories of others, he sees everything that happens to him through them; and he tries to live his life as if he were recounting it.

Talk about distractions!!

I am beginning to believe that nothing can ever be proved.

Including that of course.

Then time started flowing again and the emptiness grew larger.

Then this part: "as it must to all men, death came to Antoine Roquentin."
[Sartre too]
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
User avatar
iambiguous
ILP Legend
 
Posts: 46765
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
Location: hanging out with godot

Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Thu Oct 13, 2022 6:15 pm

The Onion

Area Teen Smoking Like He's Been To Fucking War Or Something


Not counting Grenada of course.

Conductor Fatigue Blamed In Massive Model Train Crash

Fortunately, no fatalities.

Who Said It: Kanye West Or An Instruction Manual For The Cuisinart CRC-400 Electric Rice Cooker?

No, seriously. And they mean Ye of course.

Computer Scientists Say AI’s Underdeveloped Ethics Have Yet To Move Beyond Libertarian Phase

Let alone the moral nihilist phase.

Study Finds Over Half Of Blind Americans With Walking Sticks Covert Assassins

Sounds about right.

Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything

And he's here of course.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
User avatar
iambiguous
ILP Legend
 
Posts: 46765
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
Location: hanging out with godot

Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Fri Oct 14, 2022 4:04 pm

Fyodor Dostoevsky from The Brothers Karamazov

Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.


Fuck that, he thought.

I love mankind, he said, but I find to my amazement that the more I love mankind as a whole, the less I love man in particular.

Next up: I hate mankind.

The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.

I know! Philosophy!!

The world says: You have needs -- satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don't hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more. This is the worldly doctrine of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result for the rich is isolation and suicide, for the poor, envy and murder.

You know, back then, there. Today, here? Let's just say it's a bit more problematic.

I think the devil doesn't exist, but man has created him, he has created him in his own image and likeness.

That actually makes sense.

Besides, nowadays, almost all capable people are terribly afraid of being ridiculous, and are miserable because of it.

Next up: Our nowadays. Where almost no one is.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
User avatar
iambiguous
ILP Legend
 
Posts: 46765
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
Location: hanging out with godot

Re: a thread for mundane ironists

Postby iambiguous » Fri Oct 14, 2022 6:38 pm

The Onion

Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately


Pragmatists let's call them.

Progressive Alabama School District Teaches Students That Every Race The Master Race In Own Way

Clever, eh?

Local Teen Invents Masturbation

Actually, the same teen who invented fucking.

Man Needs Emotional Support Only A Woman Can Feign

That's you, right?

Friends, Family Admit They Expected Man’s Mental Breakdown To Look Completely Different

A body count for one thing.

Child Who Just Lost Balloon Begins Lifelong Battle With Depression

After all, it could be anything.
He was like a man who wanted to change all; and could not; so burned with his impotence; and had only me, an infinitely small microcosm to convert or detest. John Fowles

Start here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=176529
Then here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 5&t=185296
And here: http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopi ... 1&t=194382

"Sure, it works in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Danny Embling: "People wonder how Hitler managed to get so many followers...it's never surprised me."
User avatar
iambiguous
ILP Legend
 
Posts: 46765
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:03 pm
Location: hanging out with godot

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