Epic Poem (call for a collective project)

[Fixed Cross]

one line at a time
________________________________
The light disappeared from the roads

[erutxet]

we snorted until dawn made us crawl back into our sarcophagi

[Pezerocles]

That's what we called the pods over the genetic combinations of horse and elephant that we had created. Sarcophagi... the chariots pulled by steeds of Hell.

[erutxet]

We're on our way to Hell to pick up fresh feed for the steeds, and also to try and save our friend Raymond. He's died and gone to Hell, cries eternally, chained to a lake of fire. Bubbles are always forming on his skin, he's burning from the inside out. He's chained! All he has is his ipod classic to comfort him, and he listens to pixies - tame on repeat because he can't change the song, the ipod is just out of reach. It's a good song he says, but it just all gets so repetitive.

[Duality]

Dont eat my baby

[erutxet]

She's already dead

[Pezerocles]

This is not proper christian talk...

[erutxet]

If you would look around you (scroll up,) you would notice that we are in Hell ...

[Pezerocles]

Christians aren't welcome in Hell. Why do you troll?

[Fixed Cross]

Hey! I said one line at a time.

This qualifies as the last one:

"That's what we called the pods over the genetic combinations of horse and elephant that we had created."

this sounds very Homeric, so I approve.

Please, restrain yourselves assholes.

[erutxet]

Punk is not dead

[Pezerocles]

FC, this epic poem turned to 1st person narrative... perhaps this needs to be explained? Maybe it is dialogue from one of the characters?

[Fixed Cross]

Ah yes, like in an introduction to the chapter, perhaps.
"Chapter one: X and his posse set out to do Y. The poet take on the perspective of X."
Who is X? What shall be the name of our hero?

Wait, I forgot how the poem went...

The light disappeared from the roads
we snorted until dawn made us crawl back into our sarcophagi
That's what we called the pods over the genetic combinations of horse and elephant that we had created.
[ and ok let's allow ]
Sarcophagi... the chariots pulled by steeds of Hell.
[ and maybe ]
We're on our way to Hell to pick up fresh feed for the steeds
[ I don't like this Raymond character. I'ts not an epic name. ]
Twenty thousand ivory-skinned prisoners from the weeping city in our trail

[Pezerocles]

The white ashes from the funeral pyres covering their faces.

We're on our way to Hell to pick up fresh feed for the steeds

*We were?

[Pezerocles]

I say we wait to see what else he (or she?) says before giving himher a name.

[Fixed Cross]

I say we wait to see what else he (or she?) says before giving himher a name.

Yes, good.

[Fixed Cross]

The white ashes from the funeral pyres covering their faces.

Their barbaric laments no match for the all-swallowing wind, meeting us head on.

[Fixed Cross]

The white ashes from the funeral pyres covering their faces.

We're on our way to Hell to pick up fresh feed for the steeds

*We were?

If you really ask, no.

[Pezerocles]

A wind from the North, and the Northern Gods...

[Pezerocles]

FilmSnob wrote: The white ashes from the funeral pyres covering their faces.

We're on our way to Hell to pick up fresh feed for the steeds

*We were?

If you really ask, no.

I meant that we should keep verb tense continuity. Though maybe not doing so would give it a nice bardic touch...

[Fixed Cross]

The gifts we brought them made them howl across the plains.

[Pezerocles]

Among us, only Galdria, though remaining conscious, recoiled in fear.

[Fixed Cross]

FilmSnob wrote: The white ashes from the funeral pyres covering their faces.

We're on our way to Hell to pick up fresh feed for the steeds

*We were?

If you really ask, no.

I meant that we should keep verb tense continuity. Though maybe not doing so would give it a nice bardic touch...

Ah I was thinking in logistic terms, whether it would be practical to have steeds that have to be fed in hell.

[Fixed Cross]

Then there was Barbeuth, openly cursing the Gods.

[Pezerocles]

A sleet of mechanical death showered the plains, and their [the Gods'] invitation was clear.